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Because your TV binging should be about as gluttonous as your eating Thanksgiving weekend, we perused the exhaustive buffet of marathons, specials, and TV events planned for these highlights worth sampling.
Portlandia marathon—9 am-2:30 pm, IFC
Because what better time than Turkey Day to put on a bird on it?
Thanksgiving with Friends marathon—10 am—TBS
A marathon of every Thanksgiving episode of Friends. Actually, this is better than Thanksgiving dinner itself.
Modern Family marathon—10 am-12 am, USA
For a marathon of TV viewing to mirror the wacky interplay between your family on Thanksgiving Day.
Jurassic Park movie marathon—10 am-2 am, AMC
For a marathon of TV viewing to mirror the wacky interplay between your family on Thanksgiving Day.
13th Annual National Dog Show—12 pm, NBC
It’s that thing everyone accidentally ends up watching each year because no one bothers to change the channel when the parade is over. But also: cute dogs!
Football—all day, every channel
If you must.
Best Bars in America marathon—8 pm- 4 am, Esquire Network
This is less of a TV recommendation than it is a public service for Americans who have had just about enough “family time.”
Friday, Nov. 28Pawn Stars marathon—8 am-11 am, History
Put your time at grandma’s house to good use. Surely there’s some crazy antique lying around that could be your golden ticket.
Frosty the Snowman — 9 pm, CBS
There are a shocking number of animated Christmas specials airing Friday night. Never too early, apparently! This classic is obviously the one you should watch.
Saturday, Nov. 29Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever — 8 pm, Lifetime
Noted surliness expert Aubrey Plaza voices a celebrity cat in a Lifetime movie based on an Internet meme. Why have you not already set your DVR for this?
Punkin Chunkin: Superchunk! — 8 pm, Discovery Channel
A contest far more captivating that the endless slog of football on Thanksgiving Day, this battle of creativity and ingenuity sees how far people can catapult silly crap into a cornfield.
Sunday, Nov. 30Law & Order: SVU marathon—9 am—11 pm, USA
Fourteen hours of SVU is the background noise your holiday weekend’s Sunday desperately needs.
Indiana Jones movie marathon—12:30 pm, Spike
An Indiana Jones movie marathon is never not a good idea.
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I'll be watching Friends until it's time to head off for Turkey Day festivities with my fam. What are you doing today, ONTD? Full Weekend List @ The Source
