On Saturday, Stephen Colbert was interviewed as part of the Vulture Festival:
- When asked if he's grateful for all the comedic content Trump provides: “It feels like things are on fire…and I’m not a fireman. I’m a guy who dances next to the fire and says, ‘Let’s all admit this is on fire—do you think that should be on fire? Is that really something that we want to burn for fuel today?’…the hard thing is to dance close to the fire and not get burned by the fire.” When asked “What would constitute getting into the fire?” Colbert retorts, “I’d say, calling the President a cock holster.”
- When Ted Cruz was a guest, Cruz said,"I was hoping we could humanize me.", to which Colbert replied, "If you want to be humanized, don’t ever let me recognize one sentence that comes out of your mouth. Don’t go to the stump speech, and you will be a human being…And he [Cruz] says, ‘That’s hard'."
- His prediction for the future: “It seems like the best thing you could hope for is just sort of this grinding, innervating status quo that gets you to the 2018 midterm elections. And then if the Democrats have just two saltine crackers in their skull to rub together, and they can get control of either house of Congress, then you can have a serious investigation that is public…there needs to be a public coming to Jesus on what Trump means, and what we are willing to accept as governance, what we’re willing to accept as our standards. Because what’s in that pile, that fire that I’m dancing next to? It’s really our norms and our standards and our principles. Are we willing to burn everything for a golden calf who is Donald Trump? Just for vindictiveness’ sake? You know, our politics have become these pure acts of vindictiveness… People who felt like they were being treated cruelly decided to respond with an act of cruelty themselves. Donald Trump is an act of cruelty. But there needs to be a reckoning.”
- Election Night special was meant to have an 8-minute Katy Perry piece about “your new feminist overlords,” and 20 naked men boasting the “We’re with her” motto on their asses
- News of James Comey's firing broke mid-monologue; writers had 10 minutes to come up with at least 3 jokes
- He would interview anyone from the Trump administration except Kellyanne Conway
- Would like to interview Melania
- Was delighted to be publicly called out by Trump; "it surprised me that he would throw me such a bag of coins.”
- Does not think Hillary Clinton should return to public life yet since she'll just "galvanize Republicans to have a common enemy when they’re tearing themselves apart publicly.”
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