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10 Worst Television Couples of 2013

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2013 wasn’t exactly the year of gripping romance. A lot of television shows this year featured couples that left us feeling uncomfortable, disgusted, horrified, or confused – instead of the cutesy warm and fuzzies we probably should be getting from on-screen love affairs. Or maybe we’re just soulless and jaded, we don’t know. Either way, here’s a list of our top ten worst TV couples of 2013.

1. Olivia and Fitz, Scandal



And our anti-Olitz campaign continues, mainly because the couple in question continues to be terrible.

Yes, there’s no denying that Kerry Washington and Tony Goldwyn have sizzling on-screen chemistry, but that doesn’t erase the fact that not only is this relationship emotionally abusive, but it’s gotten incredibly tedious, as well. How many more phone calls, with the couple’s theme song playing in the background and with Olivia and Fitz talking to each other but not really saying anything, are we going to have to endure this season? How many more times is Olivia going to yell, “you do not summon me!” before inevitably being carted off somewhere by the Secret Service? How many times is Olivia going to tell Fitz, “no” before he does whatever he wants anyways?

Let’s not forget that Fitz spends more time sulking in his office, mooning over Olivia, than actually being the president of the United States. And that Olivia could date way better guys (and we’re not talking about Jake, who is yet another killing machine like Huck), but chooses not to.

2. Cyrus and James, Scandal



Seriously, Cyrus? Seriously? First he tries to order a hit on his own husband (which thankfully he canceled, but still, those were the most nerve-wracking 30 seconds of television ever), and then he pimped James out to Vice President Sally’s secretly gay husband, Daniel Douglas Langston (Jack Coleman). Cyrus is constantly demeaning, manipulative, and condescending to the would-be reporter, so it’s not a surprise when James actually does end up sleeping with Daniel as a little piece of payback. Revenge is served ice, ice cold.

Now what James really needs to do is grab his baby that Cyrus barely even cares about, hightail it out of that toxic marriage, write a tell-all book about all the shit that goes on behind-the-scenes of the White House, and become extremely rich.

3. Ichabod and Katrina, Sleepy Hollow



We can totally sympathize with Katrina being stuck in limbo, but so far Sleepy Hollow has failed at selling Katrina and Ichabod as an epic, time-traveling, soul-transcending couple to us. Ichabod’s main driving motivation throughout the show, besides stopping the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse from riding and saving the world, is to rescue his wife from purgatory. With a story like that, you’d think their love would feel as tragically undying as it sounds, right? Nope.

All the flashbacks to Ichabod’s former life with Katrina, as well as their present-day meetings (Katrina appears in Ichabod’s dreams, tells him something cryptic and ominous about the bad-guy-of-the-week, conveniently leaves out any useful details and then screams “ICHABOD!” or “YOU MUST STOP THEM!” before being pulled away) make it abundantly clear that these two have zero chemistry with one another. Their interactions feel stiff and awkward – not the adjectives you want to associate with a relationship that’s meant to be “true soul mates forever” type love.

These two are interesting enough characters on their own, just… not all that interesting when they’re together.

4. Schmidt and Cece, New Girl



This season of New Girl started off with Schmidt (Max Greenfield) two-timing Cece (Hannah Simone) and Elizabeth (Merritt Wever) – the low point of a relationship that’s been in a downward slide since almost the very beginning. Desperate for “more time to make a decision” on who he was in more in love with, Schmidt strung the women along for multiple episodes, reaching new heights of insanity to keep his lying and cheating a secret. Once the truth came out, he even had the nerve to get mad at Nick and Jess for the resulting blow up. Own up to your mistakes, you douchebag.

And it’s not even just this season where Schmidt was being all kinds of awful with Cece; after they broke up the first time, he kept desperately trying to ruin her new relationships and stalked her to an Indian marriage convention where he wore a bedazzled turban so he could “fit in.” It’s not even all that clear that this couple loves, or loved, each other. For the most part, their relationship has been about the sex – how it’s so good that they can’t stay away, as Cece stated once before switching their on-and-off relationship back to “on.” And while it’s fine to just be fuck-buddies, we’d rather not have this couple pushed onto us as anything other than that.

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