Gwyneth Paltrow’s latest, much-anticipated cookbook hit shelves Tuesday, bringing with it all the healthy, high-quality recipes one might expect from such a svelte, wholesome-looking thespian-foodie.
The tome has been the object of ridicule for many months now because of its premise of shunning all things good: No coffee, dairy, alcohol, sugar, shellfish, potatoes, tomatoes, bell pepper, eggplant, corn, wheat, meat, soy or anything processed at all were to pass Paltrow’s lips following a health scare, including a migraine and panic attack, that led her doctor to prescribe an “elimination diet” to get herself back on track.
The New York Post says “It’s All Good” reads like “the manifesto to some sort of creepy healthy-girl sorority with members who use beet juice rather than permanent marker to circle the ‘problem areas’ on each other’s bodies.” The Atlantic Wire calls it “the bible of laughable Hollywood Neuroticism.” And, according to Eater.com, the book is “drenched in a chatty faux-populism that could only come from a rich person fearlessly boasting about her life of privilege.… Paltrow casually writes that she overnights homemade vegan cookies to her manager and often has a surfeit of apples from the trees on her $5.4M five-bedroom Hamptons summer home.”
To her credit, Paltrow has found clever ways around her restrictions (including occasional cheating). But, upon a close inspection of recipes and their ingredients, we have to agree with Eater.com on the point of privilege.
The price of ingredients for her egg-white omelet recipe, for example? Assuming you're going to shop for the dish and stock your pantry from scratch in the Paltrow way (as we assumed for all prices here), it’s nearly $30, thanks mainly to her suggestion that you use duck eggs—which can be hard to find, but typically sell for $1 apiece. (Of course you could use standard hen eggs, though we tried to stick to how Paltrow would do it when we made our calculations.)
But what about her muffins? What’s so expensive about a muffin, you ask? Oh, just the gluten-free flour she suggests you buy—not just any gluten-free flour (which is pricey to begin with), but Cup4Cup, a blend made by celebrity chef Thomas Keller and sold at Williams-Sonoma, which costs $20 for a 3-pound bag.
Oh, and then there’s the $120 salad, featuring canned tuna packed in olive oil, roasted piquillo peppers and topped with dressing given a subtle sweetness thanks to one of her favorite sweeteners: Manuka honey, which averages about $25 a jar.
Seriously, Gwyneth, we want to work worth you—even eat with you! But we can’t seem to afford it. Unless you’re buying, of course.
And now, herewith, a sample of what is easily the “It’s All Good” $300-a-day meal plan (all recipes from "It's All Good"):
For Breakfast:
An Actually Good Egg-White Omelet, Spinach & Mushroom Version
Duck eggs $10/dozen
Garlic $ .80
Crimini mushrooms $3
Onion $ .50
Baby spinach $3.99
Coarse sea salt $3.69
Olive oil cooking spray $6.29
Total: $28.27
Sweet Potato & Five-Spice Muffins
Sweet potato $1
Almond milk $3
Xylitol (a sweetener) $10
Gluten-free flour $20
Five-spice powder $4
Baking powder $3
Baking soda $3
Total: $44
For Lunch:
Spanish Chopped Salad with Tuna and Piquillos With Spanish Salad Dressing
Chickpeas $3
Olive oil $15
Sweet pimenton $10
Coarse sea salt $10
Butter lettuce $4
Scallions $1.49
Roasted piquillo peppers $13.50
8 oz oil-packed tuna $18.40
Italian parsley $2
Dressing:
Manuka honey $25
Sherry vinegar $8
Oil from anchovies $8.99
Total: $119.38
Raw coconut water (a suggested pantry staple)
$5
For dinner:
Best Gluten-Free Fish fingers, Mustard + Old Bay Style
Vegenaise $5
Coarse seeded mustard $5
Dijon mustard $3.50
Gluten-free breadcrumbs $6
Old Bay $3
Fine sea salt $4
4 sole fillets $45
Total: $71.50
For Dessert:
Flourless Anything Crumble
Apples (use any fruit) $5
Maple syrup $14
Sage leaves $2.50
Quinoa flakes $6
Cinnamon $5
Total: $32.50
GRAND TOTAL: $300.65
Oh, and then there's the cookbook itself, of course: $55 with an autograph, $32 without.
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