"I just hope it doesn't pop out with a weird accent."
– Channing Tatum, on his and wife Jenna's plan to give birth in London, on Jimmy Kimmel Live
"You look like an old girlfriend of mine."
– Jack Nicholson, while crashing an interview to congratulate Jennifer Lawrence on her Oscar win
"Oh, really? Do I look like a new girlfriend?"
– Jennifer Lawrence, turning on the charm
"I'm trying to get back to my original weight of 8 pounds and 15 ounces."
– Wynonna Judd, on the reason she's joining this season's cast of Dancing with the Stars
"Does anyone know how to turn these things off?"
– Josh Duhamel, channeling Katy Perry in a promo for his Nickelodeon's Kids Choice Awards hosting gig
"I'm trying to re-enter society. I've been in this building for 18 hours a day and I feel like I just got out of prison and I don't know how to act right."
– Tina Fey, on life after 30 Rock, on The Late Show with David Letterman
"We write songs about boys and sex together. That may not be normal to the average psychiatrist out there but I think it's pretty cool."
– Ke$ha, on collaborating with her mother
"We look so much alike that I could be his twin! I asked him out to dinner so that I could teach him some new dancing moves."
– Richard Simmons, on meeting former Dancing with the Stars pro Maksim Chmerkovskiy
"I'm worried about it because my boobs could fall into my dinner, so I'm being very careful."
– Heidi Klum, on the risks of her cleavage-baring Oscars dress
"I say give it a good six months before you commit. Feelings change, even if it seems so lustful."
– Kim Kardashian's marriage advice, to Cosmo
"I am smiling – you just can't tell because I have a beard!"
– George Clooney, while getting his Oscar engraved at the Governors Ball, to PEOPLE
HAPPY WEEKEND, ONTD! xoxo to you all! :-)