Articles on this Page
- 07/30/14--20:37: _Billboard Chart pos...
- 07/30/14--20:37: _Brian Eno Addresses...
- 07/30/14--21:15: _11 (5) Things To Wa...
- 07/30/14--21:15: _Vanderpump Rules St...
- 07/30/14--21:15: _Martha Stewart Pose...
- 07/30/14--22:47: _Julissa Bermudez At...
- 07/30/14--22:47: _David Tutera's Twin...
- 07/30/14--22:47: _Chris Pratt Talks T...
- 07/30/14--22:48: _10 (5) Hilarious Mo...
- 07/30/14--22:48: _Lady Gaga for Harpe...
- 07/30/14--22:50: _Onika Miraj's 'Anac...
- 07/30/14--22:50: _TayLORD Swift and K...
- 07/31/14--00:18: _Jessie J Talks "Emp...
- 07/31/14--00:18: _Alicia Keys is Preg...
- 07/31/14--00:19: _Miley Cyrus Back In...
- 07/31/14--00:19: _END HA!: Big Bang T...
- 08/01/14--09:40: _ONTD Original: ASTR...
- 08/01/14--10:20: _Mia Wasikowska cove...
- 08/01/14--10:20: _Captain America 2: ...
- 08/01/14--10:21: _Kate Upton: "It Was...
- 07/30/14--20:37: Billboard Chart post: Tom Petty, 5s of Summer, Sia
- 07/30/14--21:15: Martha Stewart Posed for Terry Richardson For Some Damn Reason
- 07/30/14--22:47: David Tutera's Twins w/ Ex-Husband Have Never Met
- 07/30/14--22:48: 10 (5) Hilarious Movie Sex Scenes
- 07/30/14--22:48: Lady Gaga for Harper's Bazaar Magazine
- 07/30/14--22:50: Onika Miraj's 'Anaconda' Untouched Photo Leaks
- 07/31/14--00:18: Jessie J Talks "Empowering" Nicki Minaj, Ariana Grande Tune
- 07/31/14--00:18: Alicia Keys is Pregnant Again!
- 07/31/14--00:19: Miley Cyrus Back In The Studio With Mike Has Done Her
- 08/01/14--10:20: Mia Wasikowska covers Elle Canada's September Issue
- 08/01/14--10:21: Kate Upton: "It Was Inconvenient To Be Pretty When I Was Growing Up"
Tom Petty Set for First No. 1 Album on Billboard 200
Veteran rock act Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers are aiming for their first No. 1 album, as Hypnotic Eye could debut atop the Billboard 200 chart next week.
Industry forecasters suggest the set -- which was released on July 29 through Reprise/Warner Bros. Records -- may sell around 100,000 copies in the week ending Aug. 3.
Though Petty has claimed 21 charting albums on the Billboard 200 -- with 11 of them hitting the top 10 -- he's never visited the top slot. The closest he got was a pair of No. 2 albums: 2010's Mojo debuted and peaked at No. 2, while 1979's Damn the Torpedoes spent seven weeks in the runner-up slot in early 1980. (It was stuck behind Pink Floyd's The Wall.)
After Petty, watch for Eric Clapton's tribute to JJ Cale, The Breeze: An Appreciation of JJ Cale, to debut possibly in the top five with around 50,000. After that, perhaps Shawn Mendes' four-song self-titled EP may enter with around 45,000.
On the Charts: 5 Seconds of Summer Dethrone 'Weird Al'
Australian boy band rise above dismal sales week
Man, these sad numbers are steady—album sales down 15 percent, track sales down 13 percent. Maybe Adele can come back and save us all?
BOY BAND'S CHART RUN WILL PROBABLY LAST MORE THAN 5 SECONDS: 5 Seconds of Summer has done everything right so far — which isn't surprising, considering the Australian boy band shares a management company, and a summer tour, with One Direction. To paraphrase Lou Pearlman, imprisoned svengali behind the Backstreet Boys and 'NSYNC, why have one boy band when you can have two? After introducing themselves with a four-song EP earlier this year, 5 Seconds' self-titled album hit Number One with 259,000 copies this week, and due to touring and videos, it seems like the band may accomplish the rare feat of sticking around on the album charts. Aside from the Frozen soundtrack (which rose from Number Five to Number Two, with 37,000 copies, although sales dropped 15 percent) and Beyonce, almost nobody does that.
REMEMBER WHEN EVEN NUMBER 10 SOLD MILLIONS? GOOD TIMES: Beyond 5 Seconds, sales numbers on the charts this week are brutal — "Weird Al" Yankovic's Mandatory Fun sold just 33,000, a drop of 68 percent, while Sam Smith's In the Lonely Hour had 31,000, a drop of 12 percent, and Kidz Bop 26 had 27,000, a loss of 42 percent. Poor Ed Sheeran's x dropped 16 percent, from Number Seven to Number 10, with just 20,000 sales — to put it in perspective, all Sheeran had to do to reach Number 10 was play one amphitheatre and sell one album to everybody in attendance.
SUMMER SLEEPER — "ALL ABOUT THAT BASS": Mercifully, Magic's bland-reggae anthem "Rude" dropped out of the Number One spot on Billboard's Digital Songs chart, selling 154,000 copies, a decrease of 21 percent. Displacing "Rude" is Jason Aldean's debut "Burnin' It Down," which sold 184,000 copies despite having no official YouTube video or registering on Aldean's Top 10 Spotify streams. Aside from the Aldean debut, only two Top 10 singles gained sales: Nico & Vinz'"Am I Wrong" (114,000, up 18 percent, from Number Eight to Number Five) and Meghan Trainor's "All About That Bass" (103,000, up 61 percent, from Number 18 to Number Six).
MAGIC! No. 1 On Hot 100, Sia Swings Into Top 10
1. Magic! - Rude
2. Iggy Azalea ft. Charli XCX - Fancy
3. Sam Smith - Stay With Me
4. Nico & Vinz - Am I Wrong
5. Ariana Grande Featuring Iggy Azalea - Problem
6. Maroon 5 - Maps
8. Disclosure Featuring Sam Smith - Latch
8. John Legend - All of Me
9. Sia - Chandelier
10. Calvin Harris - Summer
Is Tom Petty relevant to you, ONTD?
Brian Eno has shared his feelings about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict in a passionate letter that has been published on David Byrne’s website.
“I received this email last Friday morning from my friend, Brian Eno,” Byrne wrote on his site. “I shared it with my office and we all felt a great responsibility to publish Brian's heavy, worthy note.”
The artists have collaborated on such albums as My Life in the Bush of Ghosts in 1981 and Everything That Happens Will Happen Today in 2008.
In the note, which can be read in full below, Eno questions the United States’ response to the violence, asking,“Why does America continue its blind support of this one-sided exercise in ethnic cleansing?”
Eno also shares details about his 2013 visit to Israel where he witnessed brutal violence against Palestinians. “I kept thinking, 'Do Americans really condone this? Do they really think this is OK? Or do they just not know about it?'"
Numerous musicians have spoken out against the ongoing Israeli-Palestinian conflict in recent weeks, including One Direction’s Zayn Malik, Rihanna, Selena Gomez and Eddie Vedder. Artists like Neil Young, Backstreet Boys and Paul Anka have canceled performances in Israel as well.
In a video released by freedom4palestine.org, a group including Eno, Chuck D, Ken Loach, Mira Nair, Desmond Tutu, Roger Waters, and Naomi Klein hold up cards with the names and ages of Palestinian civilians recently killed in Gaza. The UN estimates that more than 70 percent of those who have lost their lives in the fighting were civilians, including more than 220 children and 110 women.
Read Eno’s full letter below (via davidbyrne.com).
Dear All of You:
I sense I'm breaking an unspoken rule with this letter, but I can't keep quiet any more.
Today I saw a picture of a weeping Palestinian man holding a plastic carrier bag of meat. It was his son. He'd been shredded (the hospital's word) by an Israeli missile attack - apparently using their fab new weapon, flechette bombs. You probably know what those are - hundreds of small steel darts packed around explosive which tear the flesh off humans. The boy was Mohammed Khalaf al-Nawasra. He was 4 years old.
I suddenly found myself thinking that it could have been one of my kids in that bag, and that thought upset me more than anything has for a long time.
Then I read that the UN had said that Israel might be guilty of war crimes in Gaza, and they wanted to launch a commission into that. America won't sign up to it.
What is going on in America? I know from my own experience how slanted your news is, and how little you get to hear about the other side of this story. But - for Christ's sake! - it's not that hard to find out. Why does America continue its blind support of this one-sided exercise in ethnic cleansing? WHY? I just don't get it. I really hate to think its just the power of AIPAC… for if that's the case, then your government really is fundamentally corrupt. No, I don't think that's the reason… but I have no idea what it could be.
The America I know and like is compassionate, broadminded, creative, eclectic, tolerant and generous. You, my close American friends, symbolise those things for me. But which America is backing this horrible one-sided colonialist war? I can't work it out: I know you're not the only people like you, so how come all those voices aren't heard or registered? How come it isn't your spirit that most of the world now thinks of when it hears the word 'America'? How bad does it look when the one country which more than any other grounds its identity in notions of Liberty and Democracy then goes and puts its money exactly where its mouth isn't and supports a ragingly racist theocracy?
I was in Israel last year with Mary. Her sister works for UNWRA in Jerusalem. Showing us round were a Palestinian - Shadi, who is her sister's husband and a professional guide - and Oren Jacobovitch, an Israeli Jew, an ex-major from the IDF who left the service under a cloud for refusing to beat up Palestinians. Between the two of them we got to see some harrowing things - Palestinian houses hemmed in by wire mesh and boards to prevent settlers throwing shit and piss and used sanitary towels at the inhabitants; Palestinian kids on their way to school being beaten by Israeli kids with baseball bats to parental applause and laughter; a whole village evicted and living in caves while three settler families moved onto their land; an Israeli settlement on top of a hill diverting its sewage directly down onto Palestinian farmland below; The Wall; the checkpoints… and all the endless daily humiliations. I kept thinking, "Do Americans really condone this? Do they really think this is OK? Or do they just not know about it?".
As for the Peace Process: Israel wants the Process but not the Peace. While 'the process' is going on the settlers continue grabbing land and building their settlements… and then when the Palestinians finally erupt with their pathetic fireworks they get hammered and shredded with state-of-the-art missiles and depleted uranium shells because Israel 'has a right to defend itself' ( whereas Palestine clearly doesn't). And the settler militias are always happy to lend a fist or rip up someone's olive grove while the army looks the other way. By the way, most of them are not ethnic Israelis - they're 'right of return' Jews from Russia and Ukraine and Moravia and South Africa and Brooklyn who came to Israel recently with the notion that they had an inviolable (God-given!) right to the land, and that 'Arab' equates with 'vermin' - straightforward old-school racism delivered with the same arrogant, shameless swagger that the good ole boys of Louisiana used to affect. That is the culture our taxes are defending. It's like sending money to the Klan.
But beyond this, what really troubles me is the bigger picture. Like it or not, in the eyes of most of the world, America represents 'The West'. So it is The West that is seen as supporting this war, despite all our high-handed talk about morality and democracy. I fear that all the civilisational achievements of The Enlightenment and Western Culture are being discredited - to the great glee of the mad Mullahs - by this flagrant hypocrisy. The war has no moral justification that I can see - but it doesn't even have any pragmatic value either. It doesn't make Kissingerian 'Realpolitik' sense; it just makes us look bad.
I'm sorry to burden you all with this. I know you're busy and in varying degrees allergic to politics, but this is beyond politics. It's us squandering the civilisational capital that we've built over generations. None of the questions in this letter are rhetorical: I really don't get it and I wish that I did.
Look, we understand that the pressure to watch "Sharknado 2: The Second One" tonight is pretty intense. But just because everyone else is doing it doesn't mean you have to spend two of your hours on this earth watching a deliberately bad movie. Especially when there are plenty of other options!
Let's be honest: you're not watching "Sharknado 2: The Second One" to engage intellectually with art holding great cultural merit. You're doing it for a good dose of fun, and maybe for a little bit of the eye candy to boot. There will be -- if we're lucky -- the occasional visceral rush when a shark falls from the sky into the bed of a half-naked couple whilst canoodling. That brief bit of laughable humor may lead to some funny tweets, but it's not worth the two hours of your life you have to give up in order to understand them.
So save yourself the trouble of watching "Sharknado 2" and instead engage with a film providing the same visceral value, as well as a story everyone with American blood running through their veins is already familiar with: "Rocky III." It's not the first "Rocky," which is simply too great a film to provide any kind of unintentional levity, or the fifth "Rocky," which is cringe-level bad. This is "Rocky III." You get to see Sly's horrified face upon seeing his statue unveiled on the steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art. You get to watch Mr. T act tough while wearing FEATHER EARRINGS. You even get to see Hulk Hogan throw Rocky like a rag doll into a group of incredibly lucky extras. Then there's the training montage, running through water, and the "You ain't so bad!" taunting that will forever be used when besting an opponent you once feared (for me, it's usually during a game of checkers with my niece).
But aside from all that, you also get to see two men at the peak of their form dance around the ring a few times with flexing their muscles and glistening in fake sweat (though an argument could be made for Sly's physical peak being reached with his 'roided up bod in "Rocky IV"). Trust me. You'll feel a lot better than you will after seeing Tara Reid sweat through her layers of makeup.
So perhaps your imagination craves a little additional stimulation -- that doesn't mean you have to settle for "Sharknado." Instead, there's CBS's "Extant," which isn't the most showy of sci-fi programming, but is evolving into an interesting tale of the near-future, full of advanced technology and intrigue. "Extant" is an odd series, especially for a CBS show (there's a distinct lack of mysteries being solved), but Halle Berry's space pregnancy and robot son remain a lot more believable than literal sharks falling from the literal sky to squash New Yorkers.
We've been pushing HBO's dark drama on everyone for weeks now (with some positive results), but I don't know if I ever took the time to say "it's not for everyone." Consider this that moment.
If the mere existence of "Sharknado 2: The Second One" as a real film with an IMDB page and everything is enough to make you start weeping, then save those tears for something cinematically rewarding instead. You will cry during "The Leftovers," or at least feel your stomach deaden as the ever-darkening issues facing the citizens of Mapleton continue to stack up. But afterward you will at least be able to note the merit behind your remorse.
"The camerawork was excellent in those first two episodes," you might say to your friend, who is also searching for positive elements of life to cling onto minutes after the credits roll. Or perhaps you'll go with, "Wow. I can't believe Justin Theroux had such a powerful, textured performance of controlled insanity and rage inside him this whole time," in an effort to remind yourself it's just TV, not real life. No matter what you say to bring yourself out of the funk, you'll feel clean when it's all over. With "Sharknado 2," you'll be running to the shower.
There's an art to wielding a chainsaw in the air, screaming something and getting a little messy. Sadly, you're just not going to get that watching "Sharknado 2: The Second One." It wildly misses out on the finesse of it all, reducing the once-great act to utter madness. It's a depressing sight, one that makes you recall the golden days of "American Psycho," where things were a little different. Mary Harron definitely understood how to craft a scene featuring a chainsaw-wielding maniac: The chase, the Bateman, the nudity, the build up, the tension and the howl. It was truly perfection.
No one will ever say that Tara Reid is a great actress. But hell, every once in a while there's a perfect marriage between material and actor, and "Josie and the Pussycats" (the movie) encapsulates that. The "Sharknado" veteran doesn't make her case for Royal Shakespeare Company membership in "Josie," but she is adorable, and likable, and clearly in on the film's insider-joke-y-ness. For Reid actually has a pretty tough role to play in the film, as she mocks crass 1999 MTV ideals even while (at that point in time) in a relationship with MTV figurehead Carson Daly. The film itself is great, a perfect post-modern parody of teen consumer culture. The backstory on the key Reid-Daly fight sequence? Even greater.
Rest at source.
Lisa Vanderpump gave her pet employee a proper send-off into matrimony - she paid for the drinks at the reception.
Scheana Marie got the wedding of her dreams and the $100,000 event featured a one-of-a-kind dress, a Mexican buffet and a three-tier cake.
'I really feel like this is my fairy-tale ending,' the 29-year-old Bravo star told In Touch.
Scheana and music producer Michael Shay, 27, exchanged vows on Sunday at the posh Hummingbird Nest Ranch nestled in the foothills outside Los Angeles - where Kaley Cuoco got married last New Year's Eve - with 300-strong guest list.
The celebration was a parade of realtiy stars including Real Housewives Of Orange County's Gretchen Rossi and her fiancé Slade Smiley, Shahs Of Sunset's Golnesa 'GG' Gharachedaghi and Leila Gharache, and Rachel and Brendon Villegas from Big Brother, according to Us Weekly.
Scheana's co-stars Jax Taylor and Tom Schwartz were also in attendance, as was Joyce Giraud, former castmember of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills.
How much will you spend on your wedding ontd?
Oh Martha, no, what are you doing, no, no, no.
According to Fashionista, Martha Stewart posed for perverted asshole Terry Richardson in the latest issue of Porter, the print magazine of online retailer Net-A-Porter.
Fashionista reports that not only did Stewart willingly sit down for smiling, happy pictures with the sexual harassment king of fashion, she did so after selecting him from a list of other photographers. You have got to be fucking kidding me now:
Porter explains: "It is the first time these two controversy-hounds have met but it is, like so much in Stewart's life, no accident. After debating over a long list of photographers, America's house-mother superior insisted that Richardson shoot her. 'Oh, he is cute,' she will say later, when he comes to say goodbye."
"He is cute."
What the actual FUCK.
Really? "He is cute?" Look, I know we go on and on about the various celebrities and media outlets who continue to attach themselves to Richardson, but no matter how loudly people scream about what a terrible, shitball of a human being he is, there seems to be no shortage of famous people who are willing to laugh it off and gleefully pose in his terrible photos.
What exactly do you think you're getting when you agree to go with this guy, anyway? This shit?
I have shot better pictures of my feet accidentally while I was drunk. COME ON. I want to (perhaps naively) believe that someone like Stewart, a brilliant business woman and a freaking billionaire, isn't like some sheltered starlet who is afraid to Google and expose herself to "haters."MARTHA STEWART HAS DRONES FOR FUCK'S SAKE. She can't Google "Terry Richardson?"
I refuse to accept that. I refuse to believe that someone like Stewart isn't 100 percent aware of something as major as the horrifying details of Richardson's exploits on his sets. She probably runs extensive background checks on the person who delivers her mail. The sad truth is, she probably knows and doesn't give a shit. Because in her mind whatever "cred" this perverted piece of crap affords her in some magazine is worth more than setting an example and saying "no, I won't work with that gross excuse for a human being."
Apparently looking "artsy" in a fashion magazine is more important than standing up for the countless women this man has victimized on his set, which is a shame. It's a damn, sad shame indeed.
Images via Porter.
Television personality Julissa Bermudez has come roaring to the defense of her best friend Adrienne Bailon after the “The Real” host and actress was blasted on Twitter for comments about her ex-boyfriend Rob Kardashian.
Rob's sisters Kim West and Khloe Kardashian took to Twitter on Tuesday to call out Bailon for statements she made about him and the Kardashian family in the September 2014 issue of Latina magazine. In the magazine, which features her as its cover girl, Bailon talks about her experiences shooting “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” and her annoyance with people asking her why she broke up with Rob after he cheated on her.
Following the release of the interview snippets, Kim Kardashian posted a series of tweets directed at Bailon, encouraging her to stop mentioning her family in interviews and to quit rehashing her relationship with Rob. Khloe echoed these feelings in the messages she posted, warning Bailon not to “kick my brother when he’s down.” Though it seemed Bailon had been backed into a lonely corner, her friend and former “Empire Girls” castmate Julissa Bermudez took to her Twitter account on Wednesday to speak out in her support.
In a message to Bailon, Bermudez praised her friend for her years of hard work while also appearing to knock Kim's unconventional rise to fame.
By mentioning Bailon “not laying” on her back “for the world to see,” Bermudez seemed to be clearly alluding to Kim's infamous sex tape with singer Ray J, which has been credited for establishing the reality star’s celebrity when it was leaked in 2003.
Rob and Adrienne broke up in 2009, but she has continually talked about the relationship since their split. This has led many to feel she may be using her ex’s name for publicity.
Also to be noted, as his sisters and ex’s friend go back and forth about their feelings regarding the interview, Rob has yet to comment on the situation. This may have something to do with the fact that he reportedly isn't communicating with either Kim or Khloe at the moment.
THE INTERVIEW BELOW---
PEOPLE-- Not only is Rob Kardashian's name permanently inked on Adrienne Bailon's posterior, but he has also left an indelible mark on her career – a negative one, the former Cheetah Girls star and The Real host says.
"To be stuck with that Kardashian label, that was so hurtful to me and to my career," Kardashian's ex tells September's Latina magazine. "I probably realized that too late."
It's been five years since the Bailon and Kardashian were together, yet apparently the singer-actress, 30, remains linked to him in the public's mind because of her 13 episodes of Keeping Up with the Kardashians.
Bailon also tells Latina that she was simply too young to handle public reaction – also mostly negative – to her breakup with Kardashian.
"To this day, people will still say, 'You ruined Rob's life!' and I'll think, 'Damn, I was still playing with Barbie dolls when I met him,'" she says.
Kim Kardashian, meanwhile, had something to say about Bailon and her negative remarks to Latina.
"Funny how she says being with a Kardashian hurt her career yet the only reason she has this article is bc she is talking about a Kardashian," the reality TV superstar Tweeted.
"After a nasty divorce, celebrity wedding planner David Tutera says his twins with ex-partner Ryan Jurica have never met each other."
David Tutera revealed on Tuesday that the twins born 13 months ago with his ex-partner Ryan Jurica have yet to meet each other. The 48-year-old celebrity wedding planner and Ryan had twins via a gestational surrogacy using eggs from an anonymous donor and sperm from both men. David was the biological father of daughter Cielo while Ryan was the biological father of son Cedric.
David and Ryan parted ways on New Year's Day in 2013 before the twins arrived later that year on June 19. The CELEBrations host on WE TV appeared on TMZ Live on Tuesday and said the twins have not had any contact with each other. 'My daughter is amazing, she just turned 13 months and is doing fantastic,' David told the show's hosts. As far as Ryan's biological son, I can't tell you because we're not in contact. The children don't see each other,' David said.
The Los Angeles-based wedding planner said that he 'would love my daughter to meet his son.' David said he was focusing on raising Cielo but wouldn't rule out a future meeting between the children. 'Who knows what tomorrow is going to bring,' he said. David in September appeared on The View and revealed that he thought having children would save his failing marriage.
He said the drawn-out surrogacy process took its toll and they were moving toward a divorce by the time they found out they were expecting twins. Ryan now lives in Connecticut with Cedric.
This weekend, moviegoers will be treated (?) to the sight of Jason Segel and Cameron Diaz repeatedly getting it on during Sex Tape, as their characters attempt to recreate every single position from The Joy of Sex and spice up their marriage in the process. Expect lots of big laughs and raunchy sight gags… though one thing audiences shouldn't be hoping for is something they haven’t seen before. After all, the beast with two backs is hardly an endangered species in Hollywood, and there are always plenty of steamy sex scenes heating up multiplexes. What’s a little bit less common, however, are scenes that play getting down and dirty for laughs, intentionally or otherwise.
But in honor of Sex Tape, our brave writers have looked back at cinema to find some of the funniest instances of stars bumping ugliest on screen. Though we feel that it would be unfair and just too damn hard to pit the scenes that you’ll read about below against one another to determine the all-time funniest scene, you can read on to find ten of the most hilarious cinematic rolls in the hay.
While horror movies are typically known for gory, bloody sex scenes where victims see their invigorating bone-sesh cut short, darkly comedic slasher flicks know how to inject a little humor in their death scenes as well – especially when sex is involved. Trust me, I've seen my fair share of hilarious mid-sex death, but if you want the granddaddy of all horror sex scenes, look no further than one of my favorite 90's horror movies, Bride Of Chucky.
Starting out with a splash, Tiffany notices a conning couple getting freaky on a sleazy hotel waterbed with a mirror positioned strategically above. Channeling her inner Martha Stewart, Tiff gets creative and hurls a bottle of champagne into the mirror, creating a steady rain of mirror shards that slice through the couple and waterbed at once – creating a gushing wave of bloody, sweaty, stinky water.
It’s here where the comedy comes in, as Chucky proclaims his love for Tiff. After proposing with a left-behind ring, the two decide to consummate their love with a little doll on doll action, complete with plenty of cheeky puns. “I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling a little bit like Pinocchio here,” Chucky jests, and then he starts sensually stripping Tiff’s clothes off before she asks, “Wait, have you got a rubber?”
“Have I got a rubber? Tiff! Look at me! I’m all rubber!”
This is one of THE iconic Chucky moments in the entire Child’s Play franchise, and one of the prime examples of how Don Mancini revamped his legendary slasher icon with a fresh new style. Finish the whole ordeal off with Bard Dourif and Jennifer Tilly bringing life to their murderous characters in their most intimate moment, and you've sealed the deal on my favorite scene Bride Of Chucky has to offer.
Of all their scenes together, none are more hilarious than that which shows Otto follow through to completion. Knowing just how to make Wanda swoon, Otto halts his amateur ninja work-out, and begins to recite random Italian words – each of which causes Wanda to gradually disrobe. Yanking her knee-high boot from her foot, Otto stands proudly above her – inhaling from it deeply, then re-inflating it – giving him the appearance of a triumphant elephant. Continuing his seduction with a recitation of Mussolini’s name through her removed stocking, Otto dives upon Wanda – bursting into a chorus of Volare, before reaching a silent, cross-eyed climax.
This scene belongs to Kevin Kline, who justly received the Best Supporting Actor Academy Award for his performance. Filling him with ignorance and arrogance, he parades through the scene like a preening peacock – utterly convinced of his own sexual prowess. He continues his well-practiced mating ritual, right up until the point of orgasm – his orgasm. Because for all his energetic displays of virility, the audience can almost feel Wanda’s disappointment through the screen. And that’s hilarious.
“Oh, I’m storming your castle on my steed, milady.” “Oh, mi corazón, es en fuego! Julio, fuego, fuego, fuego!” And with that awkward exchange between dashing, mustachioed anchorman Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell) and beautiful, ambitious newswoman Veronica Corningstone (Christina Applegate) after their very funny, jazz flute-heavy first date, one of the greatest and strangest sex scenes ever committed to celluloid was born. Just how strange is it?
Well, after Veronica’s venture in Spanish seduction (which the multilingual Baxter seems more receptive to than Ron), Ron and Veronica literally go to Pleasure Town in one of the trippiest animated sequences outside of a Golden Age Disney flick. They find themselves riding unicorns together into the gates of Pleasure Town, which contains “the most glorious rainbow ever” in addition to a host of cuddly/creepy pandas, squirrels and dancing trees. As they gallop and frolic around, what’s happening outside of Pleasure Town is left completely to the imagination – but it sounds ridiculous. And it’s set to “Help Yourself” by Tom Jones… so there’s that.
The hottest girl in school is coming over to get your help studying, her grasp of the English language isn't that great, and for some inexplicable reason she seems to be into you at least half as much as you’re into her. So what do you do? Set up a webcam, excuse yourself from the room while she changes, and then record the titillation for you and your buds. But in American Pie, that’s just the beginning of the story.
Considering that at this part of the film, our hero Jim (Jason Biggs) had already been caught using a freshly-baked apple pie as a sex toy, it should come as no surprise that his attempted seduction of his gorgeous Slovakian classmate Nadia (Shannon Elizabeth) did not go off without a hitch. First of all kids, back in 1999, hooking up a webcam and sending the feed to your friend’s computer required some effort. Skype was still a gleam in some programmer’s eye at that point, and mistakes were plentiful. Secondly, don’t leave your porn magazines lying around when you have a girl coming over. Unless it turns out she’s into it, and starts to, ahem, take matters into her own hands. At this point, luckily for Jim, it’s fish in a barrel time.
Unfortunately for Jim, this being his first time and all, he can’t, um, meet the minimal mechanical requirements. Let’s just say the equipment failed before it ever got a chance to be used in the field. Twice. It’s bad enough that you literally get this close to bedding your high school crush, but for things to go down the way they did… Well, let’s just say that the ’90s teen film Jim should have been a character is Can’t Hardly Wait. Twice. Good thing, then, that the whole experience was broadcast to the entire school via the webcam and the accidental connection sent to every student at East Great Falls High School who got to see that Jim can’t, uh, hold up his end.
The reason the the Biggs/Elizabeth non-tryst in American Pie is one of the funniest cinematic sex scenes is because it’s not technically a sex scene. There’s also a reality to it, because everyone can relate to the fact that the first time doesn’t go as planned. There’s always a collision of expectation and actuality that sometimes results in one or both of the partners getting short-changed. In Jim’s case, it’s just too bad he underestimated his own potency, while Nadia over-estimated it. Twice. By comparison, being used by the band chick, who slapped him in bed and screamed “Say my name, bitch!” was a definite step up.
3) The Room
Those familiar with Tommy Wiseau’s cult monstrosity/masterpiece are doubtless well versed in the film’s multiple scenes of painfully soundtracked, unfortunately hilarious and anatomically incompetent attempts at on-screen intercourse. Just when you've recovered from the horror of witnessing Wiseau’s naked derriere grinding against an unfortunate actress’ belly button, the whole thing happens again – but this time even longer and spliced in with shots of the first one, just in case you forgot.
Let’s not forget the equally infamous scene of staircase-set boinking with Greg “Jesus Beard” Sestero overdubbing his moans in the least convincing and most half-hearted way possible, while somehow engaging in carnal expulsion with his jeans zipped up. Wiseau’s phenomenal failure to understand the technicalities of intercourse only serves to reinforce the already pretty concrete claim that he’s an alien with little to no understanding of basic human interaction.
If you see a more awkward pair of on-screen performances than Sestero and Juliette Danielle in the aforementioned escalatory “rapture,” I’ll buy you a dozen red roses and poorly ordered pizza. If you pay enough attention, you can even pin-point the exact moment when they simultaneously realize their respective careers are over: Sestero would go on to tour The Room around the world because no proper project would ever be willing to take him on again, Danielle would become synonymous with having her leg dry-humped by a non-specific Eastern-European guy.
Each of the multiple carnal scenes remain utterly hilarious, a little creepy and cover-your-eyes awkward all at the same time. If nothing else, the sight of Tommy Wiseau’s bizarre, not-quite-human not-quite-Nosferatu backside is a more effective contraceptive than every condom on the planet put together.
Rest at source.
Shot by Sebastian Faena, with creative direction by Stephen Gan, the portfolio, which will appear in all 30 editions of Harper’s Bazaar, includes Lady Gaga, Penélope Cruz, Linda Evangelista, Lara Stone, Cindy Crawford, Claudia Schiffer, Mariacarla Boscono, Joan Smalls, Stephanie Seymour, Isabeli Fontana, Laetitia Casta, Carolyn Murphy, Monica Bellucci, Gigi Hadid, Brooke Shields, Eva Herzigova, Iman, Stacy Martin and Lauren Hutton.
September’s issue in particular, which she refers to as “Icons,” marks the first time Roitfeld’s shoot has been featured on the newsstand cover of Bazaar U.S. (Images from her past portfolios were featured on the U.S. flip covers in November 2013 and May 2014, however).
Here is the official cover art for Bang Bang
Then Nicki posted this to her Instagram
And later retweeted/responded to a fan's question about it
When you're getting down on the dancefloor and the DJ Changes the song
Karlie's friend posted this picture on Instagram! Looks like Taylor cooked dinner for friends before the Ingrid show! pic.twitter.com/3K6CPa3tOa— The Swift Update (@TheSwiftUpdate) July 31, 2014
Taylor was spotted with Karlie Kloss at Ingrid Michaelson's show tonight in New York! pic.twitter.com/kedcQJddQL— The Swift Update (@TheSwiftUpdate) July 31, 2014
source + insta
these icons KAYLOR!!
Star explains how their collaboration came about, revealing she is "excited" to meet the pair...
Following the premiere of her Nicki Minaj and Ariana Grande collaboration Bang Bang, Jessie J has been busy explaining how the track came about.
The song - which has already soared to the top of the US iTunes chart - got its first play on Capital FM yesterday (July 29), with Jessie on hand to express her excitement over working with Minaj and Ari.
Miss J stated: "I'm so excited to meet them and hang out and get to perform it. I got played the song, loved the song, recorded the song. "And then (my producer) was like, Ariana wants to do a verse. And obviously she's amazing. And then Nicki heard it and was like, 'Let me jump on it!'."
She added: "It was like a real females, come together, empowering, supportive (vibe), and then Nicki jumping on it was like the icing on the cake."
Bang Bang is the first cut to be taken from Jessie's upcoming album, with fans available to by the tune in the UK from September 29.
This song is horrible and lbr no1 wants to be associated with or be featured in a J-String song. I wonder how much they paid Ari and Nicki.
Happy Anniversary to the love of my life @therealswizzz !! And to make it even sweeter we've been blessed with another angel on the way!! You make me happier than I have ever known! Here's to many many more years of the best parts of life!
Miley Cyrus is back in the studio with Mike Will Made It! Miley is reportedly working on a new CD! She told the press:
"On my last record, everything we did was with computers. But they’re real musicians – they can change keys on a whim. I’ve never seen anything like it. They’ve had me on this journey that’s greater than anything I’ve been on. It’s really deep."
Plus here’s a note Mike Will Made It shared on Twitter:
"‘@AplussPRODUCER: Cookin wit family… @MikeWiLLMadeIt @MileyCyrus’ no food."
We’re really excited to hear everything Miley has been working on for her next album!
As reasonably anticipated yet still worth reporting, production on Season 8 of CBS’ The Big Bang Theory has been officially postponed, as the five leads wait to hammer out new contracts.
“Due to ongoing contract negotiations, production on The Big Bang Theory — which was originally scheduled to begin [Wednesday, July 30] — has been postponed,” reads a statement from Warner Bros. TV, which produces TV’s most watched, highest rated comedy.
Production has been pushed back one day for now, with the situation to be reassessed on a day-to-day basis.
Jim Parsons, Johnny Galecki and Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting reportedly are aiming to increase their per-episode salary from north of $300,000 (plus a quarter-of-a-point on the back end) to possibly a cool million, while Simon Helberg and Kunal Nayyar (currently fetching $125 and $75K per episode, respectively) also are seeking sizable raises.
Later-season additions Melissa Rauch and Mayim Bialik are on different contract cycles, and thus do have deals for the coming season.
Back in March, CBS renewed Big Bang for three more seasons — through May 2017 — contingent on the cast’s contracts staying current.
Earlier this month at the Television Critics Assoc. summer press tour, CBS Entertainment president Nina Tassler said that she is “very confident” new deals will be struck in time to deliver the hour-long Sept. 22 premiere, which means negotiations theoretically could extend as late as Labor Day weekend.
For years now, we’ve wondered: Why does Lindsay keep getting chances? Why does she keep fucking them up? Where did all her potential go wrong? The conclusion seems to be that she is her own worst enemy, but somehow, she manages to bounce back in one way or another. We’ve discussed it from a societal point of view (“as long as we give her attention, she’ll keep selling”), a psychological point of view (“she clearly has mental issues and needs help”), we’ve tried the scapegoat point of view (“her parents are total train wrecks, no wonder she is so fucked up”), and even Oprah’s point of view (“time to cut the bullshit”)… but now, it’s time to talk about it from the astrological point of view.
Lilo, honestly, has one of the more complicated charts I have seen. Two things grabbed my eye right from the start. The first thing is her chart pattern. A chart pattern refers to the way the planets land in your chart and how many houses they occupy. Lilo’s chart pattern is called “The Splay” because her planets are scattered throughout nine of the twelve houses. This creates complexity because all of the planets have fallen in a way that creates a lot of aspects and because there is a planet doing work in most areas of your life. It can make individuals with this pattern feel like there is always a lot going on at once, and even though they feel very connected to a variety of interests, the over-pursuit of too many interests at once means that no single interest is getting enough focus. It can also be overwhelming because she has planets and their individual agenda’s coming at her from everywhere; I think this is a huge astrological factor into why she feels like her life is so hectic.
Her saving grace, if you could even call it that, would be in her Gemini rising. The rising sign is all about perspective; the one people will have of you and the one you will have of your surroundings. No sign is better equipped to handle the craziness of her Splay chart than Gemini. The advantage of her Gem rising is that Gemini is the sign of variety and will adapt to new surroundings and circumstances better than any sign in the zodiac, which is helpful for being able to transition from one thing to the next due to the frenzy of her splay chart. They’re also the star wordsmiths of the zodiac, and will often try (if not succeed) to talk themselves out of (or into) anything. Since Gemini is so adaptable and conceptual, it allows people with a Gem-rising to clearly see any perspective of an argument and with their wit and wordiness, bullshitting becomes a natural inclination. They don’t feel like it is bullshit, but what they fail to see is that they don’t think it is bullshit because they have no real stand about it at all. That brings us to the disadvantage of Gemini-Rising, which is how eager they are to fit in, so there is really no definitive resolve in how they choose to handle things (unless there are stronger planets placements to interfere) and they’re very susceptible to making choices based on what they think will get them the most applause (Fun fact: Gaga has a Gemini rising too!).
The second huge thing I noticed right off the bat was that she has half of her planets in retrograde, and they’re all on the right side (or “western hemisphere”) of her chart. Retrograde planets are planets which are “stopped” in motion so they appear to be moving backwards. The way this reflects back in the chart is that the planet, and therefore, the planets purpose and goals, always seem stalled and making progress becomes a huge struggle because the planet is constantly forced to re-examine its decisions over and over again, and if it doesn’t find the will to change, will continue to repeat the same mistakes.
The significance of the planets being on the right side of the chart is that planets on this side are impacted by the world around them (opposed to the left side which is planets who impact the world around them). So not only are these planets feeling stalled by retrograde, but they also feel that it’s due to outside factors that are not in their control, which stalls their ability to let the impact on them force the change they desperately need.
All three of her generational planets (Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto) are in retrograde. Anyone born from April 7th to July 15th of 1986 will also have all 3 of these planets in retrograde. Since generational planets are so slow moving, there influence takes shape over long periods of time and sets up themes that the whole generation experiences in their lifetime. With two of these retrograde generational planets in opposition to her sun, I think it sets up her victim complex. Lilo plays the blame game because she has spent most of her life feeling like she loses out due to circumstances that are beyond her control, and while she may feel like she does her part in taking responsibility and trying to change, there is never enough she can do to keep the same patterns from repeating. (Alternately, a person with their generational planets NOT in retrograde landing across from personal planets creates a “hero complex.”)
Mars is exalted in Capricorn, but since it is retrograde, this holds back Capricorn’s strongest efforts to get anything done. The desire to work hard is here, the desire to finish your goals is there, yet, it always seems to fall short of actually getting anything done. We’ve heard stories over the years of Lindsay’s ailments (coughhangoverscough) keeping her from getting her shit done, yet, she still has this underlying ambition. I think it’s noteworthy as well that Mars is in her 8th house, which rules over legacies; because when we think about it, what will be her legacy? What has her legacy been so far? It’s the things that Mars rules over, but with a retrograde twist: Wayward ambition, “physical ailments,” a loose cannon attitude, and sexual exploits.
Retrograde Saturn in her 6th house of work and health brings more problems. Saturn is the planet that makes our rules, sets our limits, and teaches us, ultimately, how to rise above our struggles (if we pay attention) and in a lot of ways, it shows the area of your life you’re most critical over and most concerned about being able to do a good job. The 6th house is in charge of so many things, it’s essentially the house where we understand we have a body and physical life (as in life you live) that needs to be tended to; bills need to be paid, chores need to be done, you have to take care of your body if you like living whatsoever. It’s where we have our daily routines, where we deal with our co-workers, where we exercise and go to the doctor, and it’s also one of our most personal houses. So if Saturn is in that house being a dick and putting all these rules in place, why the hell has girlfriend been to rehab so many times? Why does girlfriend have a hard time keeping a schedule? The “Why’s?” are endless and the answer is Saturn is asleep at the wheel in retrograde and while his anxiety to do a good job is there, the road to hell is still paved with good intentions. Saturn in retrograde cannot put it’s foot down and doesn’t take the rules it’s supposed to be creating seriously, which is basically the last thing you want working in your 6th house of “be healthy and get shit done.”
With all of these things working against her, how can she still be moderately successful at all? Well the power of Saturn’s “other half,” Jupiter, is put to work in her tenth house of career, public image and one’s overall path in life. Jupiter is all about abundance, luck and expanding the area of your life that is represented by the house it lands in. This is a huge factor in how Lilo keeps it going, because Jupiter continues to provide opportunities (and Mars in Cap is smart enough to take them). The interesting thing to me is that Jupiter in Pisces is a very strong position, because Pisces is so spiritually open that Jupiter’s goodwill feels like it knows no bounds and can do so much for those who are suffering and destructive. The problem is that Jupiter gets as carried away in its delusions as Pisces has delusions to give; and for Pisces, the fairytales can be truly endless. I feel like this is a great placement for helping people, but she needs to let the other planets direct Jupiter out of the grand delusions, martyrdom, and darker sides of Pisces; let go of that thrill of escapism that acting gives, and lead Jupiter into the light of a more service-oriented field.
One last thing…
One last notable thing she has working for her is both Mercury and Venus in Leo. This gives her so much charm and appeal, but there are some huge drawbacks as well. Venus loves, loves, loves it in Leo because Leo wants a lot of the same things Venus does: A swarm of
followers friends, a luscious plethora of beautiful surroundings, and a creative outlet for attention self-expression! HOWEVER, Leo is vain, and Venus is OK with that, which explains a lot of the filler, lip injection, hair dye jobs that Lilo has been fucking with. By far, one of Leo’s most endearing flaws is that blind trust the put in people who flatter them. This is definitely where Lilo becomes most susceptible to falling in with the wrong crowd and “users” because they win her over, most likely with flattery, and then she takes flattery as trust, like “oh, they adore me! They would never hurt me!” With Venus in her 3rd house of communication, it brings the Venusian-Leo charm and confidence into the way she speaks and presents her ideas, however, it’s not enough to provide the actual will to follow-through that her chart desperately needs.
Not so notable/didn’t feel like talking about/felt it had been covered things:
*Moon exalted in Taurus
*Sun/Midheaven/Retrograde Pluto grand trine
*Grand trine connects with Neptune to form a kite
Source for celeb birth charts
Internet Sources for stuff
Books you can read about astrology
My astrology tumblr
Kimye & Selena/Beebz post
Love Triangles w/ RPatz/KStew/Katy Perry & Ri/Drake/Chris Brown
Taylor Swift & her Mars in Scorpio giving her horrible taste in men
The Royal Baby, HRH George
Opposites Attract! Beckhams & Oprah/Stedman
Sag Songtresses: Brit, Xtina, Miley
Virgo Matriarchs! Beyonce & P!nk
The Lost Brangelina Post
J.Leto & J.Law
Kate & Leo, the OTP that never was
Anyone else got retrograde planets they want to bitch about?
She has this beautiful, regal quality that completely sets her apart from everyone else in her age group.
Though plenty of women would kill for Kate Upton's good looks, it turns out the 22-year-old supermodel found her beauty growing up "kind of inconvenient."
Kate covers Elle U.K.'s September issue showing off Fall fashion in a turtleneck and a coat, and recalls growing up in a farm in Florida where her beauty didn't exactly get her ahead.
"Living on a farm, beauty doesn't get you anywhere. Because I was pretty didn't mean I could convince my sister to do my chores," she explains to the magazine. "It was kind of inconvenient to be pretty, growing up."
Nevertheless, Kate was happy when her curves came in.
"When I first started modelling, I was a normal catalog model. Then, I became a woman, and I was really excited about becoming a woman. Because I'm from Florida, it's all about being in bathing suits," she says. "It's a different view of beauty there. You are ugly if you don't have a curvy body. And I didn't have one, and then I got one, and thought, 'Yessss!'"
Though not everyone in the modeling world agreed.
"And then people say: 'Oh, wow, you're healthy.' And you're like, 'Wait -- what? I've been begging for this body my whole life!'" she recalls.
"Agents have put me under pressure to lose weight in the past. I would go on set and clients loved me. And then I would go into an agency and feel like crap about myself. They would say: 'Just lose five more [pounds]!' But I couldn't give a crap. I still don't."
... Clearly, that strategy has paid off.
Elle U.K. magazine's September 2014 issue hits newsstands Aug. 1.