The Casualties & Successes of 2K16's Pop Dehydration Crisis
![failed-disney-divas]( "failed-disney-divas")
2016's Pop Dehydration Crises has affected us (the gays) immensely, our iTunes libraries are parched, when were walking around listening to music we have to sidewalk catwalk to these old ass songs, and this is the issue that nobody, none of the candidates are really talking about. Lets give some noteriety to the pop gworls that've been hit by 2K16 Pop Crisis
2016's Pop Dehydration Crises has affected us (the gays) immensely, our iTunes libraries are parched, when were walking around listening to music we have to sidewalk catwalk to these old ass songs, and this is the issue that nobody, none of the candidates are really talking about. Lets give some noteriety to the pop gworls that've been hit by 2K16 Pop Crisis
Tinashe
Tina gave us the MEGABOP "2 On" & instead of following up with "3 On", "4 On", & "5 On", she diverted from the formula. She served us "Party Favors" & the bop "Player" which were growers but rule #1 for new pop gworls is u need INSTANT SMASHES. Her big anticipated label push release was "Super Love" produced by the team who made Rih, Rih, it DID NOT deliver. I mean the video was cute and she served us choreo but its gonna be a no from me, she also followed that up with a song called "Company" & ..... anyway, hopefully Tin can still come back & learn from this & be the new Bey, I don't want her to go down the road of light-skin R&B whisper queen who serve one SMASH & leave, see; sheila e, pebbles, blu cantrell, cassie, tracie spencer, christina aguilera (which i'll be doing a post on)
Receipts:
![Screen Shot 2016-10-06 at 1.34.47 PM]( "Screen Shot 2016-10-06 at 1.34.47 PM")
The Last Hit:
Gagarth Brooks
Miss Gaga spent the last three yrs preparing for this moment, the bandwagoners will have u think Artpop was a huge misstep but in all actuality, it has MANY bops & honestly a legend cant maintain a long career with hit album after hit album. What Artpop shouldve did for her was humanize her as a pop artist, instead Miss Gaga decided for that era that she wanted her first serious role to be AWARD WINNING & swiped ha discover card in between the asscheeks of the foreign press and showed up, face pullt TIGHT gworld to collect ha Golden Globe. She THEN decided it'd be a good idea to do a 2nd season of ASPCA: Hotel. We stayed with ha thru that album w Dino Spumoni, all these fuckin antics & she cant get the Gaga who wrote Bad Romance/Bad Kids etc cant show up for one era?
OVER. CANCELED
Receipts:
![Screen Shot 2016-10-06 at 1.37.08 PM]( "Screen Shot 2016-10-06 at 1.37.08 PM")
The Last Hit:
Successes
Carly Rae Jepsen
who else serves u SIDE B to an album that didn't go top 10? lmao only queen, and she won a polaris award, the snobbiest music award whatever behind pitchfork and EVERY song on side b is amazing, u WILL get in
Receipts:
The Last Hit:
Gagarth Brooks
Miss Gaga spent the last three yrs preparing for this moment, the bandwagoners will have u think Artpop was a huge misstep but in all actuality, it has MANY bops & honestly a legend cant maintain a long career with hit album after hit album. What Artpop shouldve did for her was humanize her as a pop artist, instead Miss Gaga decided for that era that she wanted her first serious role to be AWARD WINNING & swiped ha discover card in between the asscheeks of the foreign press and showed up, face pullt TIGHT gworld to collect ha Golden Globe. She THEN decided it'd be a good idea to do a 2nd season of ASPCA: Hotel. We stayed with ha thru that album w Dino Spumoni, all these fuckin antics & she cant get the Gaga who wrote Bad Romance/Bad Kids etc cant show up for one era?
OVER. CANCELED
Receipts:
The Last Hit:
Beyonce
Miss Beyonce; the biggest, bestest capitalist in the music industry, maybe in the world gave yall an album AND visual AND a tour, she made merchandise for songs that werent even released yet,(true capitalist queen)
Sonically the album served u DISJOINTED, #hashtag, ONE HOOK PER SONG, and RAW emotion. Visually the visuals were giving "OWN Original", BET Blackbuster, Tyler Perry presents, like, at first she was this strong hardass, u know, the Beyonce were all waiting for, like, bitch yes, this IS what i came for.mp3, speak ur mind! and then the third act of the movie came and .. OVER. CANCELED
Receipts:
![Screen Shot 2016-10-06 at 1.38.23 PM]( "Screen Shot 2016-10-06 at 1.38.23 PM")
The Last Hit:
Sonically the album served u DISJOINTED, #hashtag, ONE HOOK PER SONG, and RAW emotion. Visually the visuals were giving "OWN Original", BET Blackbuster, Tyler Perry presents, like, at first she was this strong hardass, u know, the Beyonce were all waiting for, like, bitch yes, this IS what i came for.mp3, speak ur mind! and then the third act of the movie came and .. OVER. CANCELED
Receipts:
The Last Hit:
Rihanna
Rih dropped what might be the most adult of any of her albums & maybe the biggest song of ha career & then Miss Rihanna was like bye gworls, she made a line with PUMA & got yall ugly ass toes peaking out baby pink slip ons with fur like only HA. anyway she gave yall a tour, yall showed up, i mean nothing really to say right? yall got BAMBOOZLED
Receipts:
![Screen Shot 2016-10-06 at 1.39.37 PM]( "Screen Shot 2016-10-06 at 1.39.37 PM")
The Last Hit:
Receipts:
The Last Hit:
Meghan Trainor
Meghan, ever relatable, u know she gives you Daytona Beaches' premiere pediatric's daughter teas. WELL, MISS MEGHAN said fuck the fucking police, i'm dying my hair red for this era, miss meghan showed UP! Sonically she gave u, u know "NO", a early-mid 00s mid-caliber bop, the visuals were, ok bare with me .. remember the darkchild remix of "overprotected" by britney? ok remember the video where she's in the hotel? ok and shes walking down the hall with her girls? ok so meghans "no" video is as if when brit was walking down the corridor, meghan was in one of those rooms, anyway basically she was giving u 2001, she gave u CORSET and what the fuck did yall say? "NO" thanks i think the song peaked at like #15, yall arent playing with these gworls, she released another song but idk i was stuck on "Better" by Yo Gotti, the TRUE bop
Receipts:
![Screen Shot 2016-10-06 at 1.40.30 PM]( "Screen Shot 2016-10-06 at 1.40.30 PM")
The Last Hit:
Meghan, ever relatable, u know she gives you Daytona Beaches' premiere pediatric's daughter teas. WELL, MISS MEGHAN said fuck the fucking police, i'm dying my hair red for this era, miss meghan showed UP! Sonically she gave u, u know "NO", a early-mid 00s mid-caliber bop, the visuals were, ok bare with me .. remember the darkchild remix of "overprotected" by britney? ok remember the video where she's in the hotel? ok and shes walking down the hall with her girls? ok so meghans "no" video is as if when brit was walking down the corridor, meghan was in one of those rooms, anyway basically she was giving u 2001, she gave u CORSET and what the fuck did yall say? "NO" thanks i think the song peaked at like #15, yall arent playing with these gworls, she released another song but idk i was stuck on "Better" by Yo Gotti, the TRUE bop
Receipts:
The Last Hit:
Ariana Grande
MISS grande .. oh gworl, will the real miss grande pls stand up?
She delivered to us one of the best pop/r&b albums this decade and then didnt do a lick of promo no iconic moments, outfits, same old pony tail and tbh i was with ha with the ponytail tbh its good marketing for a popgirl to have a THING because as a popstar u want to be easily recognizable/ a good halloween costume, thats free marketing tbh, but this is like ha 8th era and that clip on ponytail is still here with us, i mean she gave us a wet & wild #6 moment in the ASHY video for "into who" and that weird ass video for dangerous womyn but like gworl? DO U WANT THIS?
OVER. CANCELED
Receipts:
![Screen Shot 2016-10-06 at 1.41.17 PM]( "Screen Shot 2016-10-06 at 1.41.17 PM")
The Last Hit:
She delivered to us one of the best pop/r&b albums this decade and then didnt do a lick of promo no iconic moments, outfits, same old pony tail and tbh i was with ha with the ponytail tbh its good marketing for a popgirl to have a THING because as a popstar u want to be easily recognizable/ a good halloween costume, thats free marketing tbh, but this is like ha 8th era and that clip on ponytail is still here with us, i mean she gave us a wet & wild #6 moment in the ASHY video for "into who" and that weird ass video for dangerous womyn but like gworl? DO U WANT THIS?
OVER. CANCELED
Receipts:
The Last Hit:
Successes
Carly Rae Jepsen
who else serves u SIDE B to an album that didn't go top 10? lmao only queen, and she won a polaris award, the snobbiest music award whatever behind pitchfork and EVERY song on side b is amazing, u WILL get in
