Sometimes, the best way to get your message across to the masses is to do it...in song.
Don’t Copy That Floppy
The Corp: Software Publishers Association (Before its Merger with the Information Industry Association)
Yes, floppy. While we wait for screeners to become avaliable to us armchair film critics, let’s take a walk back nearly 26 years ago when little pixelly games by developers like Maxis and Sierra were being stolen on floppy disks.
Enter M.E Hart, a lawyer, aka MC Double Def P, aka the dude in the video, who encourages students to not steal someone’s hard work. The nearly 10-minute long video is interspersed with interviews from software developers going “So, please don’t steal our craft?”
The entire video reeks so heavily of the 90s, I love it.
I was always more fond of the sequel, Don’t Copy That Floppy 2, that now had CDs (How quaint!) and still had MC Double Def P.
“He made a couple of clicks,
he thought his game was on lock,
until a uniformed man,
came at his door with a knock,
now he’s got nothing to say,
he’s petrified and he’s shocked
he was the king of the town,
now he's the laugh of the block.”
Here’s to a third ieteration where he pleads with us to not steal DLC, because you will be arrested, thrown and jail, and probably beaten up for stealing media.
Hot Drinks
The Corp: Wendy’s
But the most popular one by far was Hot Drinks;
“Hot drinks, really get you going,
warms up you, when you feel you’re slowing,
Wendy’s, where we always serve it right away,
add a smile and have a nice day~”
Featuring some poor kid who got roped into this, he sings in a smokey red room about the regulations for serving and handling hot drinks.
Stir in hot chocolate with a clean spoon! Fill hot water up to the line! Give the guest a juicy slice!
Watch The Stove
The Corp: General Mills for Hambuger Helper
Featuring a variety of people never heard from again, the Hamburger Helper Mixtape hit the scene in 2016 and was relatively forgotten after the initial “…What the fuck” from the world over.
“Feed The Streets” involves one …. I want ya’ll to know that I looked at the artists involved, took a deep sigh, and just copy and pasted these names - DEQUEXATRON X000, Bobby Raps, and DJ Tiiiiiiiiiip - it involves one of those people rapping about preparing the titular dish.
The line“It has too many flavors; You might have thought it was catered” is particularly hilarious to me.
This is my first time listening to it - Why does a mixtape by a food brand need to have a Parental Advisory Warning? I even checked the
official Soundcloud and it has one there too! Who knew your favorite pot casserole mascot had such a dirty mouth.
I just realized it said "Delicious Content" #ONTDDoesntReadParody Tunes
The Corp: Ebay, circa 2003
I remember these from childhood, though it would be nearly 20 years after seeing them that I would use the auction site for the first time. Not so effective, huh.
Why would it take so long? After all, there’s shopping day and night! On Broadway eBay!
It involves this man breaking the time-space continum to walk out of an elevator, onto a soundstage, and back into said elevator instead of going to his destination.
But it is catchy! “I used it all to buy this jar, on eBAY.", meaning that he not only uses his travel time poorly, but his spending habits leave a lot to be desired.
There was another one featuring one Christian Borle paryodying "That's Amoré"
Who encourages a woman to go on eBay to buy signed baseballs, suits, records, and my personal favorite, ‘an organizer thing’ that was a PDA.
All I Really Want For Christmas - Lil Jon
The Corp: Kraft Foods for Kool-Aid
Originally posted
here, but it was such an…event, I had to include it.
“Havin’ a party on CHRISTMAS EVE!
and I got a whole lot of CHRISTMAS GLEE!
Got a whole lot of gifts I’D LIKE TO RECEIVE!
and you know all year I’VE BEEN PLANTING THE SEEDS”
The king of yelling “WHAT” and “YEAH!” returns to the airwaves with a big red fellow for the holiday - and Santa Claus.
Lil Jon and the Kool-Aid Man wander around a picture-perfect house, dropping and flinging wrapped boxes that are clearly empty.
And that’s before Jon pours out a pitches of eggnog, declaring “More Kool-Aid!”
And of course - “Oh, yeah!” as his presumed extended family of backup dancers bust a move behind him by the tree as Jon opens up a variety of gifts emblazoned with the Kool Aid Man's face
