Everyone's favorite (or least favorite) hot mess of a show
Riverdale is currently on hiatus for the next two weeks, so to pass the time let's have some fun and ogle some of the show's man candy! Now before you @ me for talking about these teenage characters, this post will be devoted to the ACTORS who portray them, all of whom are over the age of 20. I'm only using gifs from the show for ~~aesthetic value. And for all you DILF-lovers out there, keep your eyes peeled for your favorite silver foxes, too.
10.)
Ross Butler (Reggie Mantle 1.0)
Age: 27
Nationality: American
While he's no longer on the show, having jumped ship from one messy teen drama to the even more problematic
13 Reasons Why, the memory of Ross's cute jock-next-door face (and body) will not be forgotten. But sorry to say, Ross, your clear upgrade is much higher up on this list.
9.)
Martin Cummins (Sheriff Keller)
Age: 48
Nationality: Canadian
Mouths dropped around the world in
Riverdale ep 2x07 when Sheriff Keller took off his shirt and revealed that he's...a daddy. Even Veronica could barely hide her lust for him. I'm not typically into guys old enough to be my father but I'd let Sheriff Keller handcuff me anywhere he wants tbh. He's a terrible cop so I could probably get away if I wanted.
8.)
Jordan Connor (Sweet Pea)
Age: 26
Nationality: Canadian
One of the few original characters on the show (i.e. not from the comics), we wonder if Sweet Pea was given his name because of Jordan Connor's adorable face and extremely pinchable cheeks. But it's undeniable that Jordan's SEXIEST feature is his height. Standing at anywhere from 6'2 to 6'5 depending on your sources, all we know is that homeboy is TALL and I want to be slung over his shoulder onto the back of his motorcycle to ride into the sunset.
7.)
Drew Ray Tanner (Fangs Fogarty)
Age: 26
Nationality: Canadian
While Fangs isn't featured on the show a lot, I constantly wish he was because look at that charming ass smirk. Never in my life have I wanted to be a Twizzler more. A quick trip to Drew's IG will prove that sis knows how good-looking he is, as he seems to be in love with his own face:
https://www.instagram.com/drewraytanner/?hl=en6.)
Rob Raco (Joaquin de Santos)
Age: 28
Nationality: Canadian
Yup, that's three Serpent boys in a row for ya. My heart yearns for the day Rob Raco returns to Riverdale because I'm a sucker for his dark locs, shimmering blue eyes, and chiseled cheek bones. He's got that bad boy twink/slightly dead inside look that keeps you up at night, and it's no wonder Kevin fell for Joaquin at first sight. COME BACK, ROB.
5.)
KJ Apa (Archie Andrews)
Age: 20
Nationality: New Zealand
While KJ's goofy face can be kind of hit-or-miss for me personally, that body is to fucking die for. Often exploited on the show for his physical perfections,
Riverdale wisely makes KJ do shirtless scenes as often as possible. The dude looks like he hasn't eaten a carb in three years, and makes me want to stop wasting my time making pointless posts like this and go workout. However don't forget that KJ is allegedly dating a 16-year-old girl, though, so steer clear of this one, ONTD.
4.)
Skeet Ulrich (F.P. Jones)
Age: 48
Nationality: American
An icon, a legend, 90's heartthrob Skeet Ulrich has been giving all of us heart-eyes since before most of us even hit puberty.
Riverdale is truly blessed with his presence, as F.P. is not only one of the show's best characters but is also one of the best eye candies, proving age ain't nothing but a number when it comes to sexiness. Now give us a steamy sex scene with Alice Cooper, please, cause the rest of us are pretty tired of just seeing the teen characters on this show hook up.
3.)
Casey Cott (Kevin Keller)
Age: 25
Nationality: American
LOOK AT THAT FACE. That precious little face. The most boyfriend-material actor on the show imo, Casey has an adorable smile and a boyish charm that you can just like...trust, man. He looks like that cute Mormon boy at school that you'd always wish would denounce his religion and become a flaming thot. If you can't tell already, I'm kind of in love with him. Alas, unlike his character he is straight, and my heart is broken, but a boy can still have fantasies, can't he? Just give me a shirtless scene already, Casey. Just do it.
2.)
Jordan Calloway (Chuck Clayton)
Age: 27
Nationality: American
Oh my my my...Jordan Calloway sure has glo'd the fuck up since his awkward Nickelodeon days (see:
Unfabulous). Hands-down possessor of the best bod on the show, whenever Jordan's shady character Chuck shows up on the show I kind of forget he's supposed to be a douche because LOOK AT HIM. I swoon, you swoon, we all swoon so hard I want to grab Addie Singer's guitar and write a terrible song about it (again, see:
Unfabulous).
HONORABLE MENTION:Cody Kearsley (Moose Mason), age 23, Canadian
*DRUM ROLL PLEASE*
1.)
Charles Melton (Reggie Mantle 2.0)
Age: 27
Nationality: American
An adonis, a possible god-among-men, Charles Melton is way too pretty for this show and possibly even this Earth. He deserves three gifs because why not? A model before booking
Riverdale, it's undeniable that Charles is possessor of one sexy, pouty pair of lips, a piercing gaze, and cheekbones sculpted by Michelangelo himself. He's kind of a huge bro-type, actually he's definitely a huge bro-type, but all of us can make a mistake from time-to-time, yes? He probably stares at himself in the mirror when he fucks, but if I looked like that, I would too.
Gif sources:
SOURCE 1SOURCE 2SOURCE 3SOURCE 4SOURCE 5SOURCE 6SOURCE 7SOURCE 8SOURCE 9SOURCE 10SOURCE 11SOURCE 12SOURCE 13Do you agree with my choices, ONTD? Who's your number one? Please note that a certain rat-faced former Disney star is not on this list.