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Oh No They Didn't! - LiveJournal.com

older | 1 | .... | 251 | 252 | (Page 253) | 254 | 255 | .... | 4982 | newer

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    Brandi Glanville broke down in tears on TMZ Live Friday while talking about her dog that may have been "stolen" from her house ... a theft that has some very strange markers.

    But Taylor Armstrong does not believe a word Brandi says about her missing dog, calling the idea that the pooch was stolen just "a publicity stunt."

    It didn't sound like a publicity stunt when Glanville called in to TMZ Live yesterday and began balling hysterically as she talked about how someone broke into her home and stole one of her dogs.

    Brandi's story is a little off (or at least, her assistant's version of the events is) and Taylor was in full agreement as she slammed her "RHOBH" co-star on her way into Aventine in Hollywood last night.

    Given all that Brandi is doing to find Chica, we're not sure why Taylor would think that the dog isn't really missing.

    In fact, Taylor and Brandi have never really been enemies, so it seems surprising that Taylor is suddenly being so negative about her.

    Then again, maybe Taylor was just annoyed to be asked about Brandi on a rather important day of her own.

    "I'm super excited to celebrate my birthday tonight at my friend's restaurant, so how about that," Taylor added to TMZ before walking into the restaurant.

    Whatever happened, let's just hope little Chica gets home safe.

    Brandi's fans flood tip line to chat instead of help!

    Brandi Glanville of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is dealing with a terrible situation. Her home was burglarized this week and the star is facing a nightmare when it comes to her family pet as it was taken too. The dog was stolen and so far hasn’t been recovered.

    On Friday the entertainer offered a $10,000 reward for the return of the animal and she posted a phone number for people to call. While the idea was to get help, it appears she has been flooded with calls from people calling just want to talk with a star. On Saturday the star announced this issue has become such a headache that isn’t answering her phone personally so people will be talking to an answering service.

    “I hired an answering service to handle chicas calls. Please stop calling them if u dont have a lead. Please,” tweeted Brandi Glanville from her official Twitter account. The star has literally begged fans not to call unless it is about the dog previously posting a message asking folks to refrain.

    “Please, please please don’t call the number if you don’t have dog information!!! Please!”

    The heartbreaking incident of losing the dog to thieves is tough enough, but then to be swamped by fans who don’t have information, but want to chat has to be even worse. Hopefully someone will call in with information about the dog or the police will find the thieves. In the meantime everyone in Los Angeles is keeping an eye for this dog as it could be anywhere.

    Ashlee Holmes Throws Shade at Gia Giudice!

    Some daughter drama is budding over on The Real Housewives of New Jersey! Apparently, Ashlee(ey?) Holmes was not impressed with Gia Giudice's behavior this past Sunday and shared her thoughts on Twitter. All About the Real Housewives shared the story.

    On the Season 5 premiere Sunday night, we watched Teresa Giudice's oldest, Gia, grab her mother's phone to text Melissa Gorga that Teresa would be joining her for Antonia and Milania's playdate. Back at home, Jacqueline Laurita's 21-year-old, Ashlee, had her own comments on the situation.

    “I’m sorry….. and people gave ME shit for getting involved when I was 19??? Okay lol.. just checking #RHONJ," she wrote.

    Ashlee seems to be completely missing the irony that she is still getting involved and, this time, it has nothing to do with her. Also, Gia is 12. Isn't Ashlee a little old to be criticizing pre-teens?

    Taking mom’s phone and texting your aunt on your mother’s behalf is a bit different than yanking the weave out of someone’s head and engaging in a Facebook and Twitter war with a woman older enough to be your mother.

    TMZ, AllVoices, WetPaint

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    In addition to his music, Harlem, New Yorker A$AP Rocky is known for his sense of fashion. Those worlds collided yesterday, according to a fan-video shot in Dortmund, Germany. Rocky and his A$AP Mob were performing A$AP Ferg's "Work (Remix)," when Rocky engaged with the crowd. During the exchange a show-goer is believed to have taken the Polo Grounds/RCA Records artist's "back in the day" Supreme cap from his head.

    "Who took my shit?" A$AP asked the crowd. "I came to party with y'all, give me my hat so I can [continue]. That's a one-of-a-kind hat," he added. "We ain't gonna fuck you up, just give me my shit back." Watching one fan exit, A$AP told security with his microphone, "Yo, stop that guy over there from leavin'...don't let nobody leave." The hat still did not return to the stage.

    Rocky finally warned the crowd, "It's either that, or I ain't partyin' in this mothafucka anymore." The requests and warnings continued, until a promoter translated to the German crowd. The crowd chanted "bring it back" to no avail."Nobody know nothin', huh?" asked A$AP.

    Moments later, an increasingly frustrated touted, "Germany, it's been good. Thank you; I'm out this bitch. Peace!" The rapper cleared the stage and left, according to the video.

    The video of the event is below: (0:57)


    are you fucking kidding me guy? these people paid money to see you & you're going to do 'em like that? over a gotdamn hat. maybe if you greased your scalp you wouldn't need it.

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    It looks like someone went a little overboard -- OK, a lot overboard -- with the airbrush tools on the promotional poster for "The Heat," a female buddy cop comedy for 20th Century Fox starring Melissa McCarthy and Sandra Bullock. The UK version of the poster pretty much obliterates McCarthy's face and neck into a fuzzy mush of nothingness.

    For comparison, here is an image of McCarthy from the film, next to her image on the UK poster:
    The US version of "The Heat" poster isn't a whole lot better if we're all being honest. The image, as seen below on the left, reflects unreal, highly digitized depictions of both McCarthy and Bullock. Yet another promo image, as seen on IMDB and on the right below, not only Photoshops the film's stars, but leaves them almost completely in the dark as the image is overly backlit.

    So, here's a question for the folks marketing this movie: How do you plan to sell a Bullock-McCarthy vehicle if you begin with the premise that these two talented women in their forties -- Bullock turns 49 in July, McCarthy is 42 -- are not acceptable to appear on posters without removing any semblance of what they actually look like?

    I feel like the quality in posters in general has been going downhill pretty quickly over the last few years but even by those standards this is some really shitty photoshop.

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    In addition to the copious questions about Justin Bieber's bizarre outfit at Game 7 of the Eastern Conference Finals this week in Miami, there was something else that everyone was wondering: Who was that girl sitting next to him?

    Was she a friend? Was she, gasp, Bieber's new girlfriend? Everyone, it seems, wanted to know.

    It turns out the young woman, 17-year-old Haleigh Youtie, is none of the above. Just a Heat fan who happened to be sitting next to the most famous teenager on Earth.

    "I mean, I was freaking out," Haleigh said of her reaction when she found out Bieber would be sitting next to her for the game. "I'm not like an obsessed fan, but obviously it's Justin Bieber. I attempted to talk to him, but he wasn't feeling it."

    Haleigh told the Miami Herald that the multi-platinum 19-year-old refused to be photographed until someone brought over a Miami Heat dancer. She tried to strike up conversations throughout the game, but they didn't go very far. "It was just really uncomfortable," she said.

    Making her situation even more uncomfortable was that fact that after posting a photo of herself and Bieber on Instagram, Haleigh felt the wrath of countless "Beliebers."

    "I check at the game, and I have 1,000 follower requests," she said. "Literally, people finding out all my info and liked. Twelve-year-old fan page girls were like, 'We're going to come beat you up.'"

    Haleigh decided to make all her social media accounts private and leave the game early. And while there was a mad scramble amongst media members to uncover her identity, now that people know she's not connected to Bieber, her life should be returning to normal.

    When it's all said and done, Haleigh might not even be the most famous Heat fan from these playoffs. That honor goes to Joakim Noah nemesis Filomena Tobias.


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    From her bed, who ELSE?


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    Scarlett Johansson is not saying "oui, oui" to a bestselling novel in France, suing publisher JC Lattes for the unauthorized use of her name.

    According to The Hollywood Reporter, the actress is less than pleased that she was depicted in the book, The First Thing We Look At, and has filed a lawsuit, seeking compensation and damages for “breach and fraudulent use of personal rights,” and seeks a ban on “future transfer of rights and adaptations of the book.”
    The book, which was published in France on March 20, reportedly centers around a mechanic who meets a woman asking for help. The mechanic believes the woman is Johansson, but the character is actually revealed as a woman named Jeanine Foucaprez, who looks nearly identical to the Avengers actress.

    The book's author, Gregoire Delacourt, told French newspaper Le Figaro that he was “stunned” by the lawsuit.
    “This corresponds with the fantasies of our times," he said, noting that he also compared a male lead character in the novel to actor Ryan Gosling. "All these famous people live with us. But I wrote a book of fiction. My character is not Scarlett Johansson, it is [character name] Jeanine Foucaprez!”
    He added to French radio RTL, "It’s a bit silly to say that if you talk about a person, the courts have to get involved. That’s quite sad."

    Johansson is currently filming her 2014 movie, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, reprising her role as Natasha Romanoff.


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    The ♚Queen of Jpop♚ has a brand new album coming out next month and luckily for us one of the songs has leaked early!

    source: sc n yt


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    Daniel Radcliffe is no stranger to theatergoers on either side of the Atlantic. The Broadway and West End vet has thrilled stage audiences as the troubled Alan Strang in Equus and the ambitious J. Pierrepont Finch in How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying. Never one to shy away from a creative challenge, Radcliffe is now tackling the title role in Martin McDonagh’s acclaimed 1996 play The Cripple of Inishmaan, which opens on June 18 and runs through August 31 at the Noel Coward Theatre. The production is part of the Michael Grandage Company’s West End season—five plays aimed at reaching a new generation. Recently, Broadway.com correspondent Susan Blackwell caught up with her favorite Messy Marvin via phone—their first public conversation since she tried to instruct him in the fine art of household cleanliness.

    Susan: Hey, Daniel!

    Dan: Hey, Susan!

    Susan: So, you’re headed back to the West End, rehearsing The Cripple of Inishmaan, preparing for a 12-week limited engagement as part of The Grandage Season. Here’s the question on everybody’s mind: Are you still sorting your own laundry these days?

    Dan: [laughing] Yes, that is what the world wants to know!

    Susan: I know!

    Dan: The truth is, I haven’t gotten much better at that.

    Susan: Oh, Daniel.

    Dan: I’ve gotten slightly better. But I think that the residual effect of the day we spent together was definitely less than you intended.

    Susan: [laughing] Remember that cashmere sweater of yours that you threw into the laundry hamper—the one that got shrunk in the wash by accident?

    Dan: I do! I’m wearing a T-shirt today that got shrunk by accident. It’s actually much better now.

    Susan: My god, man! When will you learn?

    Dan: I know.

    Susan: It’s a good thing you’re small, though. You at least have a better shot at fitting into it.

    Dan: I fit into everything I shrink, in fact.

    Susan: Well, your shrunken sweater ended up at my house, and I didn’t know what to do with it. I felt bad getting rid of it, but who really needs a tiny, boiled sweater. You’ll be pleased to know that I used it for crafts. I stitched up the openings, stuffed it and made a little cashmere Dan pillow out of it. It matches my decor perfectly!

    Dan: Really!!?

    Susan: Yes! So thank you for being laundry impaired, because I got a pillow out of the deal.

    Dan: That’s great!

    Susan: Right!? For so long, I was like, ‘What the F am I going to do with this tiny sweater?’

    Dan: You could’ve just gone with my option and worn it as a hat, and started a new trend of hats with arms.

    Susan: Wait—I’m texting you a picture of it right now.


     When we get off the phone, you have to text me back a picture you have on your phone. And no pressure, but it will be the photo that accompanies this article. But no pressure.

    Dan: Really?

    Susan: Yes! Now, then. Soon, I’m coming to see your play, The Cripple of Inishmaan. What should I expect?

    Dan: You should expect to laugh a great deal. It’s incredibly funny. The whole company is fantastic. The show is so bloody funny and so politically incorrect, but also a super-smart comedy. So, you’re going to laugh and laugh and laugh, and then, at the very end, we’re going to rip your heart out.

    Susan: Martin McDonagh writes some dark, funny shit.

    Dan: Yes, he does! We learned early on--there was one scene in the play that features a very drastic act of violence. And in the script, the stage direction says the scene goes to black before we actually see the act. But we turned around to Martin and said, "If we could do that violence effectively, would you prefer to see it?" And he nodded very emphatically! If you present Martin with two options, and one of them involves a good deal more blood and gore, he will go with that one.

    Susan: So, are you showing the act?

    Dan: We are, yeah!

    Susan: Oooh! I’m excited! And nervous!

    Dan: The thing is, this is actually one of Martin’s less violent plays. And yet, for two and a half hours, my character gets beaten up on stage, basically.

    Susan: The play is set in Inishmaan. Where the F is that? You’re good at geography right?

    Dan: Yes...

    Susan: Let's play an association game: Inishmaan is to Ireland, as "blank" is the to United States.

    Dan: Oooh—that’s a good question! Inishmaan is to Irelend as…hmmm…are there any island systems just off the coast of America that no one really goes to? I mean, it’s in the sea, it’s historically very poor, and the Aran islands are quite a patriarchal society. I suppose maybe you could say that the Aran Islands are to Ireland, as...I don’t know...Hawaii is to America?

    Susan: [laughing]

    Dan: But trust me...

    Both: This is not Hawaii!

    Susan: You’re playing the character known as Cripple Billy. How are you preparing for this role physically?

    Dan: Well, it’s never actually pinned down in the play what exactly the matter is with Billy. He’s introduced in the first scene: "Billy enters, one arm and leg crippled, shuffling." And then you hear in the play that it was a disability that was visible from birth. But really, you’re not given a huge amount of information.

    Susan: So you’re piecing together clues!

    Dan: Yes! So I’ve decided, based on what information you do get from the play, that cerebral palsy was a viable option for what Billy could have had. And so I’ve been working with a coach who has very mild cerebral palsy herself. And she was able to explain the mechanics of the condition to me, as well as teaching me how to walk and pick things up and move around, as if I’m heavily disabled on one side. It’s one of the odder skills I’ve had to learn. It has very few practical applications, besides doing a play.

    Susan: [laughing]

    Dan: There was one moment that was quite funny, actually. One night, I was walking to the shop around the corner from my house to get some food, and I thought, "There’s no one around—I’ll just walk like I’m Billy for a while." So, I put my hood up so no one would notice me, and I started walking down the road in Billy’s walk, and just as I get to the corner, and I’m about to go into the shop, I notice that a woman is behind me. And in my head I’m going, "Well, I can’t just stop and suddenly break into a normal walk as I walk into the shop, so I’m just going to wait for her to pass me before I go in." Otherwise, she’ll think, "Who's that weirdo, pretending to be disabled?" Then she went into the shop that I was headed into, so I had to wait for her to come out so that I could resume my normal walk and go into the shop. Yeah—so—that was my experience preparing for this part!

    Susan: We call that "Caught in a Lie." You were caught in a lie, Dan.

    Dan: I was caught in a lie!

    Susan: When my friends and I were freshman acting majors in college, we used to go to the mall and speak in fake British accents, and occasionally, you would get trapped in a conversation or situation and you’d have to sustain it way longer than you anticipated.

    Dan: I had a friend who went on holiday alone once, and she decided to make up a whole story about herself and her life, ‘cause wouldn’t that be fun? And she ended up, as this character, making friends with a group of people who just absolutely loved her. Then one of them was in her city, and they called her and said, "Hey, we have to meet up!" And she ended up saying to them, "I’ve got something to tell you…" She had put on a Southern accent, and in the conversation, as she was telling them, she started off with the Southern accent, and then as soon as she told them the news, she dropped it, like some big reveal!

    Susan: That sounds like the climax of Tootsie! She was in way too deep!

    Dan: She was in WAY too deep.

    Susan: Good for her for coming clean. I would have just maintained it until my death. That’s what you should have done at the store.

    Dan: Yeah, just carried on forever.

    Susan: So, you were last in the West End with Equus, back in 2007. How is this outing different for you? Besides 100% more pants.

    Dan: [laughing] I mean, Equus had some funny moments in it, but it was not a comedy. This absolutely is a comedy, so it’s nice making people laugh. And frankly, to be able to perform one of Martin’s scripts--we’re all in the rehearsal room looking at each other, saying, "How lucky are we?" There are so many people who would cut off their left arm to do The Cripple of Inishmaan—no pun intended.

    Susan Is there any chance the show might come to Broadway?

    Dan: It’s completely out of my hands, really. I obviously love working on Broadway, so it would be a thrill to take it there, but I wouldn’t hold my breath.

    Susan: So, if people want to see it, they need to get over to London and see it this summer!

    Dan: Yes!

    Susan: You know, Billy’s an orphan. You play a lot of orphans. And you're a shortie. Any chance if you can’t come back in Cripple, that you'd come back to Broadway to star in Annie?

    Dan: [laughing]

    Susan: Great! It’s settled then! Thank you, Dan Radcliffe. I’ll be seeing you in a few weeks in The Cripple of Inishmaan! Don’t be nervous!

    Dan: And I’ll send you that photo!

    Susan: Yes!




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    An interesting update on a project we've been following since 2011, when we first learned about it.

    Until today, what we've known is that Canadian filmmaker Clement Virgo has been developing a highly-anticipated film adaptation of author Lawrence Hill’s award-winning bestseller, The Book of Negroes.

    Boasting one of the strongest female characters in recent Canadian fiction, the novel's synopsis reads:

    Abducted as an 11-year-old child from her village in West Africa and forced to walk for months to the sea in a coffle—a string of slaves— Aminata Diallo is sent to live as a slave in South Carolina. But years later, she forges her way to freedom, serving the British in the Revolutionary War and registering her name in the historic “Book of Negroes.” This book, an actual document, provides a short but immensely revealing record of freed Loyalist slaves who requested permission to leave the US for resettlement in Nova Scotia, only to find that the haven they sought was steeped in an oppression all of its own. Aminata’s eventual return to Sierra Leone—passing ships carrying thousands of slaves bound for America—is an engrossing account of an obscure but important chapter in history that saw 1,200 former slaves embark on a harrowing back-to-Africa odyssey.

    When we last checked in on director Virgo's progress, in February of this year, we learned that it actually will no longer be a feature-length film. Instead, we discovered that Virgo was then planning a TV mini-series, which, as I said at the time, was more suitable for the material. It's not a very long book at around 380 pages, paperback, but the material is weighty, and, I think, would be better told in long-form, instead of cramming it all into 2 hours.

    Secondly, we also learned that production was scheduled to begin this fall, with Virgo heading to South Africa to scout locations.

    This morning brings news that BET has gotten involved in the project, teaming up with CBC in Canada, to bring the mini-series adaptation to the small screen. Of course, Virgo is still attached as director, with production still scheduled to being in South Africa in the fall.

    "We are excited to partner with Conquering Lion Pictures, Out of Africa Entertainment and Entertainment One on this historic project and to bring the acclaimed Book of Negroes to life for the BET audience,” said Loretha Jones, president of original programming at BET Networks.

    BET owns USA broadcast rights to a miniseries, so, obviously, it'll air on BET eventually. I anticipate it'll debut some time in 2014 - likely during the second half of that year.

    I must say I'm really intrigued by this move by BET. It's certainly not one I'd expect them to make. The book's subject matter would be considered controversial, especially for a network like BET. Like I said, it's weighty material, and likely not what BET's core audience is accustomed to. So it'll be interesting to see how it's received.

    Also, Virgo previously promised that he isn't at all interested in making "this-is-good-for-you cinema" as he put it (or castor oil films as Sergio calls them), nor is he interested in going after what could be "your typical Masterpiece Theatre wig-and-wardrobe orgy" in the hands of the wrong director, quoting him again.

    Virgo, whose own previous films are partly remembered for their "high-octane" style, with comparisons to early Spike Lee works (Do the Right Thing, notably), says he definitely understands the "energy" in the novel he is adapting, and knows what kind of adaptation it deserves, stating, "It's a very fast-paced, modern book... it's not stodgy at all. From a visual standpoint, I want to capture the rhythm of the book, keeping it moving forward... It's definitely not a Merchant-Ivory kind of movie."

    But I'm looking forward to seeing what Virgo eventually does with the original material, and I hope BET allows him to make the project he wants to make, and doesn't insist on cuts of anything the network would deem too risque - within cable TV limits of course.

    If you'd like to pick up a copy of The Book Of Negroes to read, click HERE to purchase.


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    Consider songwriting brothers Timothy and Theron Thomas the Jay-Z's of penning hits. They don't write anything down and are able to scribe an entire chart-topper before you can even say "Pour it up" (which they wrote for Rihanna, by the way).

    Nevertheless, they've taken on stars from nearly every genre of music, including Akon, Jennifer Hudson, Ashlee Simpson and Gwen Stefani. Their most recent project has been breaking actress/singer Miley Cyrus out of her bubblegum Disney shell and into the spunky young woman she has always been. For her forthcoming album, the Thomases crafted the catchy Mike WiLL Made It-produced party bumper "We Can't Stop" and revealed that the mohawked songbird was particular about the sound she was aiming for.

    "When you listen to the Miley Cyrus record that we did, it's not ratchet but it definitely has a lot of urban feel to it," Timothy said. "She was like, 'I want urban, I just want something that just feels Black.'”

    Some say that Miley has blurred the pop color lines, showing up at Juicy J shows unannounced and twerking what her momma gave her. Even Snoop Lion and French Montana adore her.

    Still, the starlet formerly known as Hannah Montana took on the record after Rihanna passed and embraced the gifted brothers for turning a scene from her real life into a lyrical miracle.

    "They played it for Miley and she had just come from partying. She was like, 'I was just partying with my friends and everything you just said in this song I seen,'" Theron said about Miley's reaction. "'I was looking at it from standing on a couch with my friends, just chilling in the cut and looking around the club like whoa...I’m hearing the song like that was my weekend. I have to do this song,' [she said] and then we just got connected from there."

    Now, the brothers Thomas are grinding in the studio with Omarion, Usher and Jamie Foxx (separately), assuring that their records will have people hashtagging for years to come. "The whole song is a conversation," Theron says about each musical canvas they tackle. "Our goal is, 'Can you say it in sentence?' Our whole thing is what can we say that is just simple and easy for somebody who will want to say 10 years from now?"


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    U.K. boy band confirms to MTV U.K. that Bieber will appear on the follow-up to 2011's Battleground.

    The Wanted are not only feeling the love from Rihanna, who has given their cheeky single "Walks Like Rihanna" her seal of approval, but also from their former tourmate Justin Bieber.

    The U.K. fivesome have confirmed that the "Boyfriend" singer will make an appearance on their upcoming album, for which "Walks Like Rihanna" serves as the lead single.

    Max George didn't spill too many details about the collaboration when the band spoke to MTV U.K., but he did say they also recruited Dr. Luke, Rita Ora and Nasri, who is a frequent producer for Bieber. "Hopefully there'll be a couple of surprise collabs there as well," Max George added.

    The guys have long teased that Bieber could make an appearance on their follow-up to 2011's Battleground, which spawned their breakthrough hit "Glad You Came." They shared with MTV News last October that theywould potentially be cooking up tunes with the pop superstar while on hisBelieve tour.

    With a Bieber cameo in the bag, the group can sleep easy also knowing that their latest single has been co-signed by its muse. "We met [Rihanna's] manager Jay Brown in New York and he said that he really liked it and that she really liked it which is always a good sign ['cause] if she hated it we'd be in a pretty bad place," Tom Parker shared about her take on "Walks Like Rihanna."

    But George noted, "We'd put it out anyway!" with Jay McGuiness adding, "I think she's avoiding us since we wrote that one."

    George added that with Nathan Sykes able to perform with them again after recovering from vocal surgery, he's optimistic that "it's gonna be our best album yet." Sykes played his first show with the band over the weekend in the U.K. at Capital FM's Summertime Ball.

    And McGuiness seemed to be more than thrilled about his bandmate's return, adding, "It just feels so tender."

    Not sure if the video embed properly, if not click the source.


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    1& 2

    Simon is really preparing them to be the female 1D

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    While you're sitting on your couch whining about how so many games suck, there's an entire community of people out there known as "modders" who actually take those games and alter them to make them better. Some of them are so talented that they should be working for actual game companies ... while others are just utterly insane, and the mods they create are so crazy that they'll make your brain give up and come flying out of your ass.

    Guess which ones we're going to talk about now.

    #7. The Legend of Zelda: Nicolas Cage Edition

    Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask is the most bizarre game in the Zelda series; it has those creepy masks that turn you into monsters, that world-killing moon with the haunting teethy grin, and Tingle. Motherfucking Tingle. How could anyone possibly make this game any weirder? Two words: Nicolas Cage.

    No! Holy Christ, no!

    What you're looking at, in case your brain refuses to comprehend it, is Nicolas Cage's face plastered over Majora's Mask, and we mean both the game and the character. Someone took a not-insignificant amount of time to take every single character in this game (and several inanimate objects) and change their face into Cage's, for no earthly reason. Literally every single character in this game, from the annoying little fairies in the forest ...


    ... to the sexy big one in the fountain.

    Remember the little girl who lives in the ranch? She's now Nic Cage.

    From the little seen Face/Off sequel, co-starring Dakota Fanning.

    And your horse? Nicolas Kim Coppola, known professionally as Cage.

    Wow, they didn't even have to change his features to put them on the horse.

    Wait, this one was actually in the game already, never mind.

    Which was also the exact reason Cage gave for doing Ghost Rider.

    Hmm, now we kinda want a crossover between this and the all-Jackie Chan arcade game.

    #5. Minecraft Sex

    Minecraft, as we've established, is a game where you can make basically anything. That kind of thing appeals to two sorts of people -- creative types who want to make awesome new things like the world has never seen and people with the maturity of 10-year-olds who want to make extremely elaborate representations of bodily functions. You can guess which of the two we're going to talk about.

    First up, we've got the Minecraft poop mod. It lets you poop, just like in real life, but you can do it in Minecraft instead! This is obviously an experience that was sorely missing from such an open-ended game.

    And apparently also from this mod.

    It's a little weird, because basically you just stand over a toilet, then use toilet paper on the toilet water, which gives you shitty toilet paper, and you then can craft it into nigh-indestructible, fecal-hardened weapons, armor, and building material, which is not where we would have guessed this was going at all. We can draw two conclusions here: One, this person has never used a toilet, and two, they have an extremely poor diet if they think you can craft shit into anything other than a larger, grosser shit.

    Then, there's the Minecraft sex mod. It's just as erotic and mature as it sounds, which is not at all. There's nothing quite like watching two block people, desperately hunched over and humping like rabbits to really make you question if we're really putting modern technology to its best use.

    And if you thought the poop mod showed a horrible misunderstanding of how basic anatomy and biology work, then you ain't seen nothing yet. The Minecraft sex mod requires you to build a giant, gold "SEX" card using basic items, which you then use to spawn a nude woman who immediately wants to jump on your square, rigid boner. She literally does nothing else.

    Do ... we even censor that?

    Then you begin the horrifying mating ritual (the only proper way to describe it) where your character kind of ... jives with her? It's not really thrusting so much as your knees repeatedly buckling, like you're having strange fainting spells over and over.

    Maybe just seeing a naked lady has given poor old Minecraft Steve the vapors.

    #3. Give Birth to a Baby in Second Life

    Second Life is a game for people who think the Internet isn't insane enough and prefer to carry on their online interactions through Tom Hanks' dead-eyed character in The Polar Express. Unlike every other game in this list, Second Life actually encourages modding, so, of course, one of the first things the users figured out how to do was making their characters have sex with each other -- that's not surprising. What is surprising is that they followed this thought through to the point where you get pregnant and suffer through a graphic and unsettling childbirth process:

    Obviously, C-section is the only type of childbirth worth simulating.

    Yep, there's a mod for this game that allows your avatar to give birth to a baby, because let's face it, if you're heavily in Second Life the chances of that ever happening in real life are kind of slim. You can even get a trained medical professional (read: some bored lady in front of a computer, surrounded by cats) to assist and guide you through the delivery of your fake offspring.

    It's always reassuring when your doctor has had 14 butt implants.

    Not scared yet? Watch this video where the player controlling the "doctor" spends the whole time talking to the character giving birth, helping it breathe and keeping track of its contractions. Damn it, lady, this isn't what John Atari created video games for.

    "You're gonna have to drive yourself to school today, Timmy. I'm pretending to deliver a baby on the Internet."

    The action then moves to a hot tub, because this isn't just a batshit insane digital birth -- it's a batshit insane digital water birth. Meanwhile, the mother-to-be starts letting out screams and moans that were probably intended for a more erotic context, while her husband just stares at her in silence.

    Later in life, Bane reversed his color palette and impregnated a mannequin.

    And then, after painful minutes of labor, a small child instantly materializes on the mother's crotch, because that's how childbirth works.

    "I'm bored already. Let's go have sex with a unicorn or something."

    And now you have a video game baby. Congratulations. So, what are you supposed to do with the thing now? Well, here's an idea ...

    #1. Add Some Randy Savage and Horse Vaginas to Skyrim

    If you played Skyrim for any length of time, you might think it has just about anything a gamer could want. Crafting, fighting dragons, insane Swedish guys punching everything. But some fans decided that wasn't cutting it, because it just didn't have enough gorilla shit crazy slathered on top of it.

    Observe, for example, this mod, which takes all the dragons in the game (there are a bunch) and replaces them with a weird, elongated model of Macho Man Randy Savage, complete with sound effects. We argue that this actually improves the game, because there is a definite shortage of dragons in pop culture that shout "YEAH!" before they breathe fire on everything.

    "Slim Jim" in this case means an actual skinny guy named Jim.

    It's definitely weird, but it's also silly. You can imagine it was made with tongue firmly planted in cheek. Meanwhile, this mod that adds realistic vaginas and anuses to all the game's horses:

    Yep, you just found our line. And that line is horse vagina.

    Yeah, those are intricately modeled horse muffs, and there's pretty much only one reason that someone made those -- because they wanted to see them there. Most gamers are perfectly content not to see a horse's business in a video game. Those people are not the target audience for Gary's Real Mare Horse Mod.

    Furthermore, looking just under the surface reveals not one, but two further horrors: First, Gary probably had to spend a lot of time looking at images of horse vaginas to create this mod. (Or, God forbid, he created them from memory.)

    Nope. Uh-uh.

    Second, there are not one, but two acknowledgements for "motivation" in the credits section. He had two separate people telling him that he couldn't quit. He probably said something at one point like, "I don't think I can finish this horse snatch mod, you guys." And they replied, "No, Gary. You have to finish it. For all of us."

    even numbered parts of the list at the source

    superdogbiter dedicates the nic cage part to comalies :D

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    Amid considerable, often violent protesting of France's recent legalization of same-sex marriage, Alain Guiraudie's explicitly sexual gay thriller "Stranger By The Lake" ("L'Inconnu du lac" in French) is hitting theaters in France today. But not without controversy.

    France 24 is reporting that the poster for the film has been removed from the Paris suburbs of Saint-Cloud and Versailles at the request of their town halls. The poster -- shown below -- features the drawn image of two men kissing at the forefront of a beach scene that includes a few other tiny drawn figures (including vague images of nude men and men engaging in oral sex). The town halls said they had been harassed by numerous phone calls and emails asking them to take them down.

    A "kiss-in" is being planned at Saint-Cloud's city hall this evening to protest the decision. French Culture Minister Aurélie Filippetti has also spoken out against the decision, calling it "an act of censorship" and noting that posters "do not present risks to public order."

    The film -- which won rave reviews and the best director prize in the Un Certain Regard program at Cannes last month -- is set against the backdrop of a gay cruising beach where men cruise for sex, where Franck (Pierre Deladonchamps) finds himself attracted to Michel (Christophe Paou) despite suspecting he might also be a murderer. According to Deadline, the film is tracking second behind "Star Trek Into Darkness" from its first Paris showings (which is quite impressive). Strand Releasing picked up the film for US release. Indiewire previously wrote about the film in our coverage of Un Certain Regard.


    Moderation team: I realized the last article was from deadline right after I posted, sry.

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    Poseidon's son is back, and he's more ready to fight evil than ever.

    In "Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters," we catch up with the titular teenage demigod (Logan Lerman) and his friends as they try to save their dying safe haven, starting on a journey to the Sea of Monsters to find the mythical Golden Fleece and stop an ancient evil.

    In this exclusive poster (below), we get a close-up look at the weaponry Percy has on-hand to ensure he wins the battle -- a sword branded with his father's symbol: a trident. We also get a closer look at Percy's 5 o'clock shadow, possibly hinting that we can expect this installment to be slightly more mature than "The Lightning Thief." For now, only the Gods (and anyone who's read the book) know what's in store for Mr. Jackson and his crew.

    "Sea of Monsters" hits theaters August 7.


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    Brittney Griner is breaking down another barrier by being the first openly-gay athlete to be endorsed by Nike, but don’t think they’re going to salt her game, she has already made up her mind to model more of an androgynous style of clothing.

    ESPN’s Kate Fagan revealed that Griner’s contract will allow her to wear clothes branded for men.

    Androgynous models are coveted in high-end fashion, but the trend toward gender-neutral clothing has only just begun to reach the sports world, with NBA stars Russell Westbrook and Dwyane Wade blurring the lines in their tight jeans and fitted sweaters.

    Since opening up about her sexuality in an interview with USA TODAY Sports, she’s continued to create her own path in the WNBA. In her first game, she totaled as many career dunks as any other player in WNBA history.

    It’s surprising Nike didn’t come up with the idea sooner. On the other hand, it would be difficult to imagine a male sports star that could pull off gouchos and a pair of slingbacks.

    Here’s hoping to a long, fashionable WNBA career, Brittney. Perhaps she can get a WNBA fashion war started.


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    One Direction makes their way into the studio on Wednesday morning (June 12) in Miami, Fla.

    The guys – Harry Styles, Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, Louis Tomlinson, and Liam Payne – played it cool as they made their way up the stairs.

    “Can’t believe we released a PERFUME today all because of a tweet we got from you lot ! :) big love” Zayn recently tweeted.

    The night before, Harry and Niall took photos with fans as they got off a yacht.


    Harry Styles shows off his tattoos while getting off a yacht shirtless on Tuesday night (June 11) in Miami, Fla. The 19-year-old singer was joined by his One Direction band mate Niall Horan, as the guys stopped to take pics with fans.

    “I always feel like I’m in a classy place when there’s fist holes in the toilet door and walls,” Harry recently tweeted.


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    The book is better than the movie. Or TV show. And the movie is inevitably better than the video game, right? It's an article of faith: The first thing is the best thing. But it's not so clear that's the case with HBO's Game of Thrones and its source material, George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire. Avowed Westerosian tour guide netw3rk and unrepentant book-shunner Steve McPherson go all Ramsay Bolton on this problem to see if they can't make it talk.

    Steve McPherson: I've stopped reading A Song of Ice and Fire. I read the first book before I watched the first season of Game of Thrones, and then the second before the second, but by the time the credits rolled on "Valar Morghulis," I realized something: I was ruining what was likely one of the best TV shows of all time by reading some pretty average books.
    That's going to piss some people off, but I think the precedents are pretty easy to set. Game of Thrones falls into a lineage of shows that have been gradually pressing at the boundaries of what we think television is capable of. Call The Sopranos the beginning of this, and then include The Wire and Breaking Bad and a few others along the way. And yes: This pushing often involves unspeakable violence and gratuitous sex, but to me that's not what genuinely ties these shows together.
    I'm certainly not the first to point out that these shows are doing the kind of work on the human character that used to be the province solely of the novel. And with the conclusion of its third season, I think it's now possible to say that Game of Thrones is doing that work better than any show that's come before it.
    With greater direction (which is, I admit, a byproduct of basing it on a series of novels) than The Wire or Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones is showing us how plotlines create character, not just reflect it. Events in Game of Thrones are like living things that die and leave their bones inside of characters, slowly fossilizing and then being ground into the shale and coal and oil that become a character's fuel. Although it doesn’t do everything exactly right, it does this thing better than any other show I’ve ever watched.
    This is quietly revolutionary for television, but it's what has been at the heart of good fiction for generations. And weirdly, it's not done all that well in Martin's books. Structurally, they're bold in their departure from the conventions of fantasy literature with regard to goodness and honesty winning out in the end, but go talk to Cormac McCarthy about that shit.
    And that's the basic calculus for me here. The very best that fiction has to offer — both from classic authors like Dostoevsky and Hemingway and current authors like McCarthy, Zadie Smith, Don DeLillo, and even genre writers like Richard Price — is just much, much better than what George R.R. Martin can give you. And yet Game of Thrones appears to be well on its way to being one of the top 10, if not top five, TV dramas ever.
    Why would I want to wade around in the shallow end and thumb my nose at the people diving off the high board? Up until Season 3, I was always busy marking off similarities to the books, but now I'm free to be shocked and moved without precondition.
    But you've read all the books. You can't unread them. What's your perspective on this?
    netw3rk: If part of your reasoning for deciding to stop reading the Song of Ice and Fire books is because you find the delivery of the core narrative to be better executed by the Game of Thrones show, I’m not going to argue the point. What the books do really, really well is world creation; Martin has crafted a complex, free-standing fictional world with elaborate, millennia-old histories for every character lineage and geographic location. What the show does better than the books, in my opinion, is to present the actual narrative in a distilled and concise form. So, where Martin tends to fall into bottomless Westerosian history rabbit holes describing dead rulers, their numerous offspring, their heraldry, their velvet doublets, and what they ate during some long-ago tournament, the show pares things down to the core characters and locales, numerous though they may be.
    Additionally, if the other part of your reasoning for quitting the ASOIAF books is to preserve the mail-fisted plot punch of the show, I have no grounds to object. People consume fiction in whichever way suits them; I don’t care whether a person reads all the books, listens to the audiobooks, watches the show, or just reads the Wiki of Ice and Fire. That’s a personal choice, and five brick-thick fantasy books is a decent time investment unless you’re living off a trust fund because your great-grandfather invented baby powder and the no. 2 pencil. I’m sure there are people who prefer the show to the books because tits and dragons, and I'm not going to argue.
    Personally, I’m impatient. The earth could get Deep Impact–ed tomorrow; I want to know all of the story — whatever the story — that I possibly can. Sure, my eyes glaze over at the narrative flow getting bogged down in yet another description of the taste and texture of lamprey pie, but, generally, I love the shading that the history of Old Valyria or the Blackfyre Rebellion or the customs of Dorne add to the story. That’s the nerd in me.
    Here’s where I draw the line, though: that ever so slight peering down the nose at fiction that features magic or swords or robots because they have the temerity to exist in the same format as the hallowed works of certified prose sculptors like Cormac McCarthy or Hemingway, as if those dudes never threw a pitch in the dirt now and again. Listen, I get it: I’d slit my own wrists before I drank a blended scotch, but there are only so many “bests” of any particular thing. After I’m done with those, I still want something to read.
    McPherson: It's interesting that you would bring up the idea of "world building" vs. "narrative momentum," because recently there's been a movement by so-called "literary" writers in the direction of genre writing, and I think it's often seen as a way to do away with the tedious "aboutness" of literary fiction in favor of simple, old-fashioned storytelling. (Allow me to apologize for deploying not one, not two, not three, but FOUR terms in quotes in that sentence. I know: It makes me feel like my ex-girlfriend, which feels awful.)
    Colson Whitehead dabbled in zombie fiction with Zone One. Michael Chabon and Jonathan Lethem dipped into comic books with The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay and The Fortress of Solitude (plus Lethem cut his teeth on the detective novel in earlier books like Motherless Brooklyn). Benjamin Percy's recently published Red Moon is about werewolf terrorists. Even The Road is somewhat genre-y in its exploration of a postapocalyptic America. Obviously every writer is different, but in general, writers seem to be embracing genre writing because they're tired of trying to use the world we have to explain the world we have. Authors want to be able to set the rules of their own worlds and then set characters loose inside them in order to better plumb the depths of the human condition.
    And that's interesting to me in relation to Game of Thrones because that's very much what I see happening in the show and what I distinctly missed in the books. As you said, it seems like Martin's desire to dress the set often overwhelms the story, and the result is that the characters often seem restricted, and not like living, breathing (or in many cases, choking-on-blood) people. Don't get me wrong: I agree with you that the little filigrees and ornaments have their own kind of worth (and provide so much background that the show doesn't have to worry much about the mythology). But let me present two key choices the show made in the second season that are flat-out better than the ones made by Martin.
    First, in the book, Shae is not brought to the Red Keep in King's Landing, but rather is stashed by Tyrion in the city, safe from immediate harm. But the threat of immediate harm is what every character needs in a good story! By immediately making Shae Sansa's handmaiden, the show eliminates a clutch of extraneous characters and keeps the stakes high for Tyrion; as De La Soul told us, it's important for stakes to be high.
    Second, Arya spends much of the second book doing a bunch of different things at Harrenhal before eventually becoming Roose Bolton's cupbearer. After the events of the Red Wedding, we now have a reason to know who Roose Bolton is, yet I suspect a lot of people still don't. But the show made the fantastic choice to put Arya to work for Tywin Lannister. As already mentioned, this considerably raises the stakes and it also led to many of the best-written scenes in the second season, including this gem:
    ICE WATER. I could go on — I remember Daenerys's stay in Qarth being somehow even MORE protracted and mind-numbing in the book than it was in the show — but there seems to be a method to the way the show is dealing with the book, and it's what any good editor of fiction should do: Whenever possible, combine characters, and always push for more and more immediate danger.
    However: I can respect your "eat dessert first" approach, even if the dessert is some kind of bean-paste-based dish that looks great but takes forever to eat and isn't all that satisfying. And I can recognize that the existence of the books makes a lot of things possible in the show that wouldn't otherwise be (viz. killing off major characters) because there's a plan. I realize the books aren't done and this could still go lamprey-pie-shaped, but I have this faith in the direction of the show that I never had with, say, Battlestar Galactica, because there was no source material.
    But but but: I'm ready to encourage everyone to do as I have done and just stop reading or never start the books. The show is that good to me. I'm willing to live with the risk that Bruce Willis and Aerosmith won't be able to blow up the asteroid — that was Deep Impact, right? — and I'm going to die without knowing the bare facts of what happens. What case could you make that I or anyone else should keep going with the books?
    netw3rk: The show is better at delivering the story than the books are. More concise, more efficient, and, often, more logical. I’m already on record with preferring the show as a narrative over the books. In addition to your excellent examples, I would add one more that seems especially germane:
    In Storm of Swords, Robb is really a peripheral character. He’s not part of the POV structure; everything is seen through Catelyn’s eyes. In the books, Robb falls in love offscreen, returning from campaign with his new bride, the highborn Jeyne Westerling, in tow. No romance, just: “Guess what, met this swell lady while off storming the castle, and, well, I got married.” In the books, Jeyne survives Robb; lives to mourn him. Instead, the show created the character of Talisa (no need to introduce YET ANOTHER highborn family, the Westerlings, to the already muddled character family tree) and allowed us to watch her and Robb fall in love over the course of two seasons, plan their lives and their unborn children’s lives together, and, finally, die together, thereby increasing the emotional devastation of the Red Wedding.
    OK, OK: So if the show is better as a story, why not skip the books?
    For one, we’ve just talked about a number of ways the showrunners have changed details, shifted timelines, and invented characters to tighten up the narrative and better connect plot points. A byproduct of these changes has been that, unsurprisingly, the books and the show are now pretty different animals. Knowing the Red Wedding was coming may have lessened the blow somewhat, but it also cranked up the dread. And, as strange as it sounds, watching the episode after having read the book kinda helped me put reading the chapter in perspective.
    The way Martin has written the series, you can never quite get away from the sense that he’s hidden things — details, foreshadowings — within the word choices. So, when I read that chapter, I couldn’t quite grasp it. This is happening? This can’t be happening. It must be symbolism. Dear god, this is happening. Then there’s the way the mind processes narrative text as opposed to moving images. The way the mind generates the images from the words made me, for lack of a better word, complicit, in some way, in the violence. I see the knife at Cat’s throat because my mind creates it. One can turn away from a television, and the sounds of slaughter and pleading can carry you through to an understanding of what your eyes don’t want to see. But turning away from a page only freezes the scene in your mind’s eye. The horror waits there, patiently, for you to come back to it; if you want to know what happens, you must take part.
    And that was traumatic. I had to reread the chapters directly following the Red Wedding several times because I was in a daze.
    I guess it’s pretty silly prattling on about the different ways in which we process text versus moving images, but I feel like that’s really what we’re talking about, and maybe the answer is as simple as you didn’t like the books as much as I did. Which is fair. But, I think, the things the show and books do — and the ways they do them — are so different that they can really support and augment each other. Like a Venn diagram of blood and fire, or something. If that makes sense.
    McPherson: You make an excellent point about the difference between how active a participant we are in reading versus watching; you can see from those videos of people watching the Red Wedding and covering their faces with their hands how watching a show is like riding a bicycle. If you stop pedaling, you keep moving. (Well, unless you're some dirty hipster with a fixie.) But reading a book is much more like running. If you stop, you're not going anywhere.
    And that idea of complicity is tremendously powerful in fiction, although I would argue that the show has even achieved a measure of that. I mean, when Jaime walked into Cersei's room in the season finale, I couldn't believe that I was actually HAPPY for them after the way I'd seen them in the first couple episodes of the first season. My mind was practically eating itself, thinking, It's so sweet and touching but oh gross they're still brother and sister but still but OH GROSS. But this is what Game of Thrones gives you to hold on to. When an episode's other feel-good moment is a 13-year-old girl killing her first man, you realize how far out on the ledge the show has gotten you.
    And I'd heard that Jeyne didn't die in the books, and I can only think now how glad I am that Talisa died in the show — as terrible as that sounds — because I don't think I could have dealt with her having to deal with losing Robb. Having rewatched the scene in bits and pieces, I can see something almost merciful in it now, especially in Robb and Catelyn's deaths. Catelyn, just before she's killed, has absolutely nothing left. To quote from everyone's other favorite Sunday-night serial drama (at least until Breaking Bad returns), "How do you get to heaven? Something terrible has to happen.”
    Finally, you've hit me where I live with that point about how the show and the book can augment each other. I fully read Clockers and Homicide after I watched The Wire because of the connections there, just to get a chance to live in something like that world that David Simon had created a little longer. You may have just convinced me to go back and read the books after the fact, although that’s not going to make the smugness of the “I’ve read the books” crowd any easier to take right now.
    But who am I kidding? When HBO makes Brian Jacques’s Redwall series into a bloody, mouse-sex-filled serial drama, I’m going to be the one grimly anticipating Abbot Mortimer’s untimely end and telling everyone how much better the books are.

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    One Direction hired a luxury £2.3million yacht to escape their fans onshore in Miami, so the boys can be forgiven for letting their guard down.

    But clean-cut popstar Louis Tomlinson has caused a stir after he was seen holding a weird looking cigarette.

    It could be one of those foreign types with white filters or just a prank-fag from the joke shop... the mystery remains.

    Louis, 21, is seen holding the funny fag while Zayn Malik appears to be shielding the wind around his mouth.

    Another ciggie can be seen on the table as One Direction fans discussed the pictures on Twitter.

    The pictures have certainly sparked interest online as fans pondered over what their idols were chugging into their lungs.

    One person wrote: “I hope Louis smoking is a one in a million thing and also I hope it's not pot.”

    While another wrote: “Who cares if Louis and Zayn are smoking weed? It’s their life and everyone grows up and tries things.”

    A spokesperson for One Direction declined to comment.


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