The dais included: Peyton Manning, Jewel, Nikki Glaser, Ralph Macchio, Jeffrey Ross, Pete Davidson, Jimmy Carr, Rob Riggle, Ann Coulter and roastmaster David Spade.
Ann Coulter, who was there to promote her Trump loving book, was the main target of the night. Some jokes were:
"Ann Coulter is here. If you are here, Ann, who is scaring the crows away from our crops?"– Pete Davidson
"I do want to say as a feminist that I can’t support everything that’s been said tonight. But as someone who hates Ann Coulter, I’m delighted."– Jewel
"Ann Coulter and no black people? What are we roasting? A cross?"– Pete Davidson
"I’m not the only athlete up here. As you know earlier this year, Ann Coulter won the Kentucky Derby."– Peyton Manning
"God, it’s white up here. It’s the only way we could get Ann Coulter, though."– Nikki Glaser
"If Ann Coulter is here, someone must have said her name three times. Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!"– Rob Riggle
"Ann is one of the most repugnant, hateful, hatchet-face bitches alive. It’s not too late to change, Ann. You could kill yourself."– Jimmy Carr
"Jeff Ross is going to party like it’s 1999. Ann Coulter is going to vote like it’s 1899."– Jewel
"Ann Coulter has written 11 books, 12 if you include Mein Kampf."– Nikki Glaser
"Ann, you are awful. The only person you will ever make happy is the Mexican who digs your grave."– Nikki Glaser
"She seems stiff and conservative, but Ann gets wild in the sheets. Just ask the Klan" - David Spade.
Rob Lowe got some jokes directed toward him, with his 1988 sex tape with a 16 year old girl being brought up the most:
"Rob Lowe defies age … restrictions. You look like you are sculpted. You put the statue in statutory rape."– Nikki Glaser
"I had such a crush on Rob as a little girl. If only I knew that’s when I would have had my best shot."– Nikki Glaser
"Rob Lowe. Or as the girls in the sex tape said, ‘Rob, no."– Jeffrey Ross
"Truly Rob, roasting you wasn’t easy. What can I say that hasn’t been said in court by three nannies, a chef, and an underage girl from Atlanta?" - Jeffrey Ross
They also made jokes about Pete Davidson's dad dying on 9/11... cause apparently nothing can be off limits during this shit.
Like half of this will never be shown. It airs on Labor Day if anyone cares. SOURCE:
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